goals

When Aspiration Leads to Exasperation

Faith / By / July 29, 2021 / , , , ,

What am I doing wrong?!

Confusion, uncertainty, and discouragement plagued my heart as I started my morning. Where is that verse about God being faithful to complete what He calls us to do? I wondered as I opened my Bible. I looked it up, 1Thessalonians 5:24. Desiring to understand better God’s call on my life, I read the whole book of 1 Thessalonians. I discovered the source of my distress resulted from my aspirations.

For the past several years, I’ve aspired to write for publication. My first book is 90ish% complete. I hired a professional editor to work her magic. Now I need to go through the manuscript one last time. Then the work of actual publication begins. I must decide where to publish, acquire ISBNs and copyright, and learn different formatting options—and do all these things well, so I place a professional quality book in the hands of my readers. I want to love them—so many new tricks to learn. Praise God I’m not an old dog!

Astonishment hit me as I read the following passage, “But we urge you, brethren, that you increase more and more (in love); that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, that you may walk properly toward those who are outside, and that you may lack nothing.” 1 Thessalonians 4:9-12.

A quiet life? That’s what the Lord wants? Yes. Unfortunately, a writer’s life isn’t as silent as you may think. While writers spend many hours at a keyboard, they also need to market their work. The vocation requires promotion, speaking, and internet presence—all noisy endeavors. Imagine the sound of wooden planks sawn to the correct size. Hammers pounding nail heads to secure the boards in place. Platform building is noisy. These tasks beleaguer most writers.

I needed to process what I just read in my Bible. So—aspiring “to lead a quiet life”—I retreated to the dirt from whence I came. Nothing beats the humble aspiration of weeding and caring for plants. After all, the first good work God assigned to the first man, Adam, was gardening. I find dirt therapy helps my heart. And God values that work as much as the hours I spend pounding keys.  So, I tended to my badly damaged azaleas.

A warm week in February stimulated sap flow in my sad-looking bushes. Then a brutal cold snap in March almost killed them. I prayed that the bad weather failed to steal my investment of dollars and sweat. Thankfully God, who is rich in mercy, brought new life from the roots beneath the surface.

My writing goals look a lot like those stunted azaleas. Rough drafts like deadwood branches exceed the flourishing of quality work. “You must write more. You must write better. You must get that website launched. You must find your readers and publish your books,” shouts the voice in my head, my voice, not God’s. The Holy Spirit directed my attention to the new growth on these battered plants.

The roots live. Growth comes from the unseen life below the surface. God’s still small voice whispers peace to those who hear it. I heard it there in my flower bed.

If God wants me to write (and I believe He does), He wants me to do it with a quiet spirit. And not to neglect the other work He appointed to me (supporting my husband and keeping our home). God desires me to work diligently with my hands and depend on the hidden life, my relationship with Him.

Since the Lord set the good work of writing before me, I trust He’s appointed readers for the words I write. My pursuit should not be clamoring for their attention by pounding a platform together. Instead, I should quietly seek to love them well with the words I write and let the Lord direct the silent building of His temple. We are His temple.

In the book of 1 Kings, all the stones used to build the temple in Jerusalem were cut to size in the quarry so that the temple site would be silent with reverence. God erects His temple—His church—today in the same fashion—silently. A battle rages in hearts. Satan strives to keep us in darkness. Yet, light prevails. God saves souls. He grants pardon and peace to former prisoners—to you and me.

Sitting in the mulch, I chose to “let the peace of God rule in my heart” (Galatians 3:15). Just like I trust my little azalea bushes will bloom, I believe through His quiet direction my words will be beautiful and life-giving—in His time—not mine. The Lord makes all things beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

To what do you aspire today? If you feel rattled or restless, maybe it’s because you’re aspiring to something less than a quiet life of love.

The Empty Nest, A New Adolescence

Faith, Family Life, Maturity, Motherhood / By / August 9, 2021 / , ,

Let the WONDER YEARS begin!

Attention moms of all ages: fledglings fly away. God designed it that way. The first high schooler to graduate in a family takes a mama by surprise. Any empty-nest mom can attest to the reality that her children grew and flew in the blink of an eye.

It seems we finish getting our offspring through their teenage years, and we find ourselves in quiet houses with empty bedrooms. Then we discover a strange irony, on the heels of their adolescence, we find ourselves in the second season of adjustments that feels eerily familiar.

Adolescence is fraught with as much anxiety. I have yet to meet an adult who wants to relive that period of life. Yet, middle-age is much like a second adolescence—a time grown-ups must, again, grow up. My twenties felt like the infancy of adulthood. Then the thirties and forties passed like the golden years of childhood—a delightful busy season. However, once your hit fifty or sixty, parenting demands slow way down, and the physical changes of menopause assault our bodies.

Winkles replace pimples. The wiry, silver strands of hair bring back bad hair day memories from junior high. Now we have a new mane to tame. In our first puberty, we experienced the new sensations of sexual maturity. But in menopause, many women struggle with enjoying sex at all. The friction of intercourse inflicts discomfort on drying vaginal tissue, growing pains, not of a maturing body, but of a deteriorating body.

Then, as if the physical challenges aren’t enough, there’s the uncertainty of what do we do now that kids aren’t consuming all our[tg1]  time? Believe it or not, this is the upside of adolescence—the wonder years as an 80’s television show describes it (this series followed three friends through junior high into high school). During pubescence, children, on the verge of adulthood, brim with potential. They dream great dreams. Every aspect of personal responsibility and independence appears like the promised land of freedom. Every new sensation thrills their maturing bodies and awaking sensuality. Every emotion intensifies—just like in menopause.

So, what’s a woman to do in this second season of wonder years? Dream again. Many people achieve their most significant accomplishments in their last years. That gives me hope. I can do more, be better, and accomplish good things. As long as I’m living, God has a plan for me—good works to do. As long as I abide in the Vine, I can be productive, fruitful. So, let the wonder years commence.

The greatest wonder of all—the upside of adolescence—it ends with a new maturity. I need that perspective. When I finish growing up this time, I’ll be complete. God will be finished with me, and I’ll never have to go or grow through adolescence again.

“So teach us to number our days, That we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12

If you’re a young woman, what dreams do you have for the end of your life (dream big)?

If you’re my age and find yourself struggling through your second adolescence, what good work does God want you to be pursuing?

If you’re in an earlier stage of life, start jotting down ideas of things you could accomplish if you had more free time because the time is coming. Blessed is the woman who lives her life in phases and enjoys each one.