The Empty Nest, A New Adolescence

Let the WONDER YEARS begin!

Attention moms of all ages: fledglings fly away. God designed it that way. The first high schooler to graduate in a family takes a mama by surprise. Any empty-nest mom can attest to the reality that her children grew and flew in the blink of an eye.

It seems we finish getting our offspring through their teenage years, and we find ourselves in quiet houses with empty bedrooms. Then we discover a strange irony, on the heels of their adolescence, we find ourselves in the second season of adjustments that feels eerily familiar.

Adolescence is fraught with as much anxiety. I have yet to meet an adult who wants to relive that period of life. Yet, middle-age is much like a second adolescence—a time grown-ups must, again, grow up. My twenties felt like the infancy of adulthood. Then the thirties and forties passed like the golden years of childhood—a delightful busy season. However, once your hit fifty or sixty, parenting demands slow way down, and the physical changes of menopause assault our bodies.

Winkles replace pimples. The wiry, silver strands of hair bring back bad hair day memories from junior high. Now we have a new mane to tame. In our first puberty, we experienced the new sensations of sexual maturity. But in menopause, many women struggle with enjoying sex at all. The friction of intercourse inflicts discomfort on drying vaginal tissue, growing pains, not of a maturing body, but of a deteriorating body.

Then, as if the physical challenges aren’t enough, there’s the uncertainty of what do we do now that kids aren’t consuming all our[tg1]  time? Believe it or not, this is the upside of adolescence—the wonder years as an 80’s television show describes it (this series followed three friends through junior high into high school). During pubescence, children, on the verge of adulthood, brim with potential. They dream great dreams. Every aspect of personal responsibility and independence appears like the promised land of freedom. Every new sensation thrills their maturing bodies and awaking sensuality. Every emotion intensifies—just like in menopause.

So, what’s a woman to do in this second season of wonder years? Dream again. Many people achieve their most significant accomplishments in their last years. That gives me hope. I can do more, be better, and accomplish good things. As long as I’m living, God has a plan for me—good works to do. As long as I abide in the Vine, I can be productive, fruitful. So, let the wonder years commence.

The greatest wonder of all—the upside of adolescence—it ends with a new maturity. I need that perspective. When I finish growing up this time, I’ll be complete. God will be finished with me, and I’ll never have to go or grow through adolescence again.

“So teach us to number our days, That we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12

If you’re a young woman, what dreams do you have for the end of your life (dream big)?

If you’re my age and find yourself struggling through your second adolescence, what good work does God want you to be pursuing?

If you’re in an earlier stage of life, start jotting down ideas of things you could accomplish if you had more free time because the time is coming. Blessed is the woman who lives her life in phases and enjoys each one.