humility

Exposing the Lies of Comparison

contentment, Faith, Maturity / By teri / April 18, 2023 March 16, 2023 / comparison, humility, lies, sanctification, truth

Don’t compare apples to oranges

“I wish I were as strong as you,” my friend Jan lamented. How many times had she said this to me? Probably as often as I’ve complained to her, “I wish I were as gentle as you are, Jan.” God possesses both gentleness and strength; therefore, both are godly character traits. It’s true that I have more willful resolve than Jan, and equally true that she’s far more tender with people than I am. Though this is an honest comparison, it leaves us with only half-truths; and a half-truth is a lie.

When we compare ourselves to others, we tend to absolve ourselves of responsibility. “I can’t be as gentle as Jan because we’re different, and that’s how God made us.” Or we become envious. We wish we had a particular characteristic too. Envy ruins relationships. We no longer feel equal but less than or more than. Comparison is a tool our enemy uses to distort the truth.

Satan wants to destroy us with feelings of inferiority and pride. He loves it when we give up and surrender to sin. He doesn’t want us to be better. And that cunning serpent certainly doesn’t want others to see Jesus in us!

On the other hand, God knows we all have different strengths and weaknesses. He expects us to compare ourselves to no one. No one except Jesus. I should never settle for Jan’s imperfect gentleness, just as Jan should not aspire to my inferior strength. The Lord wants us both to grow up and display the gentleness and tenacity of Jesus, the perfect person. But isn’t perfection too much to require of frail sinners like us?

It would be if He didn’t give us His Holy Spirit and the benefit of His written Word, the Bible. Even with those great powerful helps, it’s unlikely that anyone will perfectly display a godly character on this side of glory. However, God promises on that day—His judgment day—He will complete the good work He’s started in us.

So, let’s quit buying into the lies of trying to be someone we were never meant to be. And let’s start pursuing the perfection God intends for us. Let’s strive to be conformed to the image of His dear Son. Enjoy meditating on this song from Zach Williams as you compare yourself to the righteous One.

Humili*Tea: Serving a Second Cuppa

celebrations, Community, Faith, forbearance, forgiveness, humility, Knowing God, Maturity, Spiritual warfare / By teri / February 21, 2023 February 20, 2023 / humiliation, humility, National BE HUmble Day

/(h)yo͞oˈmilədē/ noun: 1. a modest opinion of one’s own importance, 2. an absence of pride or self-assertion, 3. To accept, with gratitude, a cup of coffee when you’d prefer tea (or vice versa. Teri’s 2022 definition), 4. The cup of tea you drink after you’ve acquired the taste for humble pie (Teri’s 2023 definition).

Happy National Be Humble Day!

(celebrated every year on February 22^nd)

I confess I suffer from the self-inflicted wounds of pride. I confess my pride injures those around me. That’s why humility may become an annual tea party on my website in February. God loves me and has dished me up slices of humble pie in so many flavors that God’s recipes make Baskin Robins look like a vanilla ice cream shop. And by His grace, I’ve acquired a taste for this painful pastry that most people detest.

Through God’s chastening, patience, and love, I have learned to embrace the things that keep my pride in check. Have you?

The canyon between humility and humiliation spans the distance between Heaven and hell. These two things are polar opposites. Humiliation is the awful feeling of shame and failure. It is God’s great blow to the arrogant (Psalm 119:21). God humiliates the proud. When He does, there are two responses: sparks of anger, self-justification, and retaliation or contrition and repentance, which is God’s preferred result. God humiliates to produce humility.

Humility, on the other hand, reveals the confidence of the righteous. Humility receives correction with gratitude (Proverbs 12:1 & 15:10). It secures a believer in the fact that God works all things—even humiliating things—for our good. It is the confidence that every trial perfects our patience and equips us to serve others more effectively.

Humiliation may lead to humility, but it is not the same thing. To feel humiliated and never humbled creates a living hell for the arrogant and everyone around them.

Humility knows there are no second-class saints; they don’t view other sinners as less than or unworthy of compassion. The humble realize the seed for every sin rests in their soul; like St. Paul, they claim they are the chief of all sinners ( 1 Timothy 1:15). Christ displayed perfect humility when He laid down His life for us (Romans 5:8).

The humble make peace. The humiliated stir up strife with anger (Proverbs 15:18).

Do we feel humbled or humiliated by degrading circumstances or admonishment? Trust me, if you don’t learn to enjoy humble pie, our Father will keep serving you slices in unending flavors. Take these lessons to heart on Be Humble Day. Let’s not eat any more humble pie than we have to.

To feel humiliated is human.

To be humbled is divine.

Humili*tea

1 Comment / celebrations, prayer, Teatime Qualities / By teri / February 22, 2022 February 28, 2022 / Be Humble Day, George Washington, humility, Pride

Welcome to Teatime

Tea Time is a quarterly (February, May, August, and November) reflection on various qualties.

hu*mil*i*Tea /(h)yo͞oˈmilədē/ noun: 1. a modest opinion of one’s own importance, 2. an absence of pride or self-assertion, 3. To accept, with gratitude, a cup of coffee when you’d prefer tea.

Did you know today, February 22^nd is national “Be Humble Day” and the birthday of the first president of the U.S.? I wonder if the anonymous founder of “Be Humble Day” chose George Washington’s birthday on purpose? (Google didn’t know either.)

I think Washington would count it an honor to have his birthday celebrated by acts of humility—a day to refrain from boasting and acknowledge our mistakes and flaws. In the spirit of “Be Humble Day.”

When I was a child, I enjoyed two days off from school in February: the 12^thand the 22^nd. However, in 1968, when I was a wee second-grader, Uncle Sam stole candy from this baby by rolling the two days into one—Presidents Day—a day to remember not only Washington and Lincoln but all who’ve taken the solemn oath of office. This act of congress took the limelight off Washington’s accomplishments and celebrated each person who served our country as commander-and-chief. Washington would approve, no doubt, but he wasn’t always that humble.

Historians note that young Washington displayed arrogance and excessive ambition. But General Washington resigned his commission as a changed man. War taught him to put others first—a lesson to master if we want to leave this world better than we found it.

george washington, president, portrait-4897252.jpg

“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.” ~ George Washington

Humility enjoys the freedom of transparency; pride protects self with deception. The humble confess transgressions, receive forgiveness, and gain confidence in the work and worth God bestows upon him. In contrast, the arrogant hide failure and inflate successes. Our Creator gifts us with talents, abilities, and resources to be used for the good of others and the glory of God.

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less.” ~ C. S. Lewis

As the newly formed government considered a title for its first leader, Vice President Adams suggested the following: “His Elective Majesty,” “His Mightiness,” and even “His Highness, the President of the United States of America and the Protector of their Liberties.”

However, Washington rejected these inflated perceptions of a head-of-state. They had just won a revolution against a king who claimed divine anointing. While God raises leaders, He also removes those that think too highly of themselves and fail to give Him glory—Nebuchadnezzar being a prime example (Daniel 4:30-33).

Washington understood the title he chose would set both the tone of his leadership and precedence for his successors. He suggested, and the House adopted, the title “The President of the United States,” accepting the simple address, “Mr. President.”

I shuddered at the phrase “under my reign” (instead of administration) as I listened to recent presidential debates. Sorry boys and girls, there’s no such thing as King of America! It’s lamentable that few modern-day presidents display the same humility as George Washington.

Putting politics aside, might celebrating “Be Humble Day” help repair the political and cultural rifts in our nation and the world? The best place to start is on our knees with honest confessions. For example, do we speak disrespectfully about the authorities God placed over us or fail to pray for them? Ouch! I plead guilty. Then our hearts will be ready to pray and thank God for those who serve our nation.

Jesus challenges us to be humble every day, not just on February 22^nd. What might happen if we all accept His mandate, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4

Lord, please deliver us from delusions of grandeur. Help us reflect the humility of Jesus, Who came not to be served but to serve by laying aside His glory and laying His life down for others. Amen

ith gratitude, a cup of coffee when you’d prefer tea (or vice versa).

When Believing Is Not Receiving: God’s denials and delays teach us three important lessons

Faith, Knowing God, prayer, Trials / By teri / January 25, 2022 October 15, 2021 / contentment, grace, humility, unanswered prayer, waiting

“How long, oh Lord?”

Jesus promised if we ask in His name, He would answer us. “Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.” John 14:13 He Promised if we believe, we will receive.“Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:24

So, when we don’t get what we asked for, has He broken His word?

Saints from all generations struggled with the tension of unanswered prayer. The disciples failed to exorcise a demon and left the poor boy’s father devasted and desperate. The Apostal Paul pleaded for healing—God refused his request. Abraham asked God to spare the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah for the sake of his nephew who lived there. Then watched as the Lord demolished both cities with fire and brimstone. What can we learn from these accounts when our prayers seem to bounce off the ceiling and never get to God’s ear.

In the Gospel of Luke 9: 14-29, we witness a desperate dad at the end of his hope. This man’s voice cries in despair as he explains to Jesus his son’s severe condition. He has prayed, paid, and plotted, but no one—not even one of the twelve—can cast the violent tormentor from his son’s soul. After hearing his saga, Jesus tells him a simple truth, “All things are possible for him who believes.”
This man’s candid response confronts me with the reality of genuine faith. “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!” Faith prays honestly.

Lesson 1: Delays and denials teach us humility and dependence.

Life-giving, soul-saving, mountain-moving faith is a gift of God (Ephesians 2:8). As long as I delude my heart with self-sufficiency, “I just need to trust more, believe harder,” I fail to humble myself before God, who grants faith. Jesus later explains privately to his disciples why they couldn’t cast out the demon. “This kind comes out only by prayer and fasting.”

Christ’s call to fast and pray isn’t an encouragement to work up to more faith. He’s reminding them (and us), their effort isn’t enough. Just like the boy’s dad, they need to confess their self-reliance. Fasting communicates complete dependency on God. It reveals Jesus is our bread of life—and we should desire nothing less. When we thrust ourselves upon the mercy of God, He always shows up—but not necessarily in the way we think He should.

Consider the conversation the Lord had with Paul concerning “ a thorn in the flesh.”

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:8-9

If you read this chapter, you’ll see Pual knew why he had this affliction. The Lord intended to keep him humble. Paul felt he had learned the lesson; so, he asked God to relieve him. God flat-out rejects the request and gives him something better, grace.

Lesson 2: God’s grace working through our weaknesses accomplishes more than miraculous healing.

We rejoice to see miraculous healing, but the world denies that type of miracle. What unbelievers can not deny is the joy and graciousness of suffering saints. That shouts the reality of good news—God with us—like nothing else can.

Lesson 3: True wealth is contentment to wait on the Judge of the earth to do right.

Abraham, by earthly standards, possessed wealth. That’s what caused his nephew Lot to move away. They both owned fortunes, and one region could not sustain their grazing herds and flocks (the measure of wealth in ancient times) So, a gracious Abraham let Lot pick first which way to go. Lot coveted the fertile valley.

Unfortunately, that plain produced some nasty fruit. Sin abounded in Lot’s new neighborhood. But before judging the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah, God let His friend, Abraham, in on the plan.

Abraham did what all godly men do—he interceded for his family. He pleaded with God to spare his nephew. God agrees to the terms of Abraham’s request; if there are ten righteous, he will not destroy the cities.

Abraham waits in the mountains. Later we watch him gaze upon the destruction of these cities. There is no evidence he ever saw Lot again.

God let Abraham wonder and wait. Abraham developed contentment even though he never saw the answer to his prayer for Lot’s safety. He found satisfaction by trusting the Judge of all the earth—Who does do right.

More than needing more, we need contentment with our lot.

^“people who are depraved in mind and deprived of the truth, imagining that godliness is a means of gain. But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.” 1 Timothy 6:5b-7

Some believers reduce God to a sugar daddy. That covetous spirit propels the false teaching of the prosperity gospel. “Name it and claim it” Christians miss out on the true wealth of dependency, grace, and contentment—these gifts God often provides through denial and delay. Take heart, Sister, when God answers no or not yet, it’s because He’s giving you more than you bargained for. He’s giving you exceedingly abundantly above all, you can ask or think!

When Aspiration Leads to Exasperation

Faith / By teri / July 27, 2021 July 29, 2021 / goals, humility, Love, peace, Resting

What am I doing wrong?!

Confusion, uncertainty, and discouragement plagued my heart as I started my morning. Where is that verse about God being faithful to complete what He calls us to do? I wondered as I opened my Bible. I looked it up, 1Thessalonians 5:24. Desiring to understand better God’s call on my life, I read the whole book of 1 Thessalonians. I discovered the source of my distress resulted from my aspirations.

For the past several years, I’ve aspired to write for publication. My first book is 90ish% complete. I hired a professional editor to work her magic. Now I need to go through the manuscript one last time. Then the work of actual publication begins. I must decide where to publish, acquire ISBNs and copyright, and learn different formatting options—and do all these things well, so I place a professional quality book in the hands of my readers. I want to love them—so many new tricks to learn. Praise God I’m not an old dog!

Astonishment hit me as I read the following passage, “But we urge you, brethren, that you increase more and more (in love); that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, that you may walk properly toward those who are outside, and that you may lack nothing.” 1 Thessalonians 4:9-12.

A quiet life? That’s what the Lord wants? Yes. Unfortunately, a writer’s life isn’t as silent as you may think. While writers spend many hours at a keyboard, they also need to market their work. The vocation requires promotion, speaking, and internet presence—all noisy endeavors. Imagine the sound of wooden planks sawn to the correct size. Hammers pounding nail heads to secure the boards in place. Platform building is noisy. These tasks beleaguer most writers.

I needed to process what I just read in my Bible. So—aspiring “to lead a quiet life”—I retreated to the dirt from whence I came. Nothing beats the humble aspiration of weeding and caring for plants. After all, the first good work God assigned to the first man, Adam, was gardening. I find dirt therapy helps my heart. And God values that work as much as the hours I spend pounding keys. So, I tended to my badly damaged azaleas.

A warm week in February stimulated sap flow in my sad-looking bushes. Then a brutal cold snap in March almost killed them. I prayed that the bad weather failed to steal my investment of dollars and sweat. Thankfully God, who is rich in mercy, brought new life from the roots beneath the surface.

My writing goals look a lot like those stunted azaleas. Rough drafts like deadwood branches exceed the flourishing of quality work. “You must write more. You must write better. You must get that website launched. You must find your readers and publish your books,” shouts the voice in my head, my voice, not God’s. The Holy Spirit directed my attention to the new growth on these battered plants.

The roots live. Growth comes from the unseen life below the surface. God’s still small voice whispers peace to those who hear it. I heard it there in my flower bed.

If God wants me to write (and I believe He does), He wants me to do it with a quiet spirit. And not to neglect the other work He appointed to me (supporting my husband and keeping our home). God desires me to work diligently with my hands and depend on the hidden life, my relationship with Him.

Since the Lord set the good work of writing before me, I trust He’s appointed readers for the words I write. My pursuit should not be clamoring for their attention by pounding a platform together. Instead, I should quietly seek to love them well with the words I write and let the Lord direct the silent building of His temple. We are His temple.

In the book of 1 Kings, all the stones used to build the temple in Jerusalem were cut to size in the quarry so that the temple site would be silent with reverence. God erects His temple—His church—today in the same fashion—silently. A battle rages in hearts. Satan strives to keep us in darkness. Yet, light prevails. God saves souls. He grants pardon and peace to former prisoners—to you and me.

Sitting in the mulch, I chose to “let the peace of God rule in my heart” (Galatians 3:15). Just like I trust my little azalea bushes will bloom, I believe through His quiet direction my words will be beautiful and life-giving—in His time—not mine. The Lord makes all things beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

To what do you aspire today? If you feel rattled or restless, maybe it’s because you’re aspiring to something less than a quiet life of love.