May 2023

Flexpectations: Managing Expectations

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Summertime & Loads of Fun!

School’s out. The weather’s warm. The long days of summer commence, and so do our high hopes for this time of year. Summertime expectations remind me of laundry. They pile up, and there’s lots of water play involved. We all look forward to loads of fun in the summer.

Summer was ending when I first moved to Kansas. I bought a sign from Hobby Lobby that reads, “Laundry Room; Loads & loads of fun.” I hung it in our new home next to four matching frames of my kids and silly laundry pictures, including one with a two-year-old who pulled a clean pair of panties over her head like a face mask. The sign provided the perfect finishing touch; my laundry room looked sweet and complete. However, I did not look as complete to God as my laundry room looked to me. So He began to wash the dirty load in my heart.

That night while my husband, Bill, and I watched T.V., Bill said, “Your washer has been filling a long time. Do you think everything’s OK out there?” So I got up to check.
 Bill’s superpowers include being a super handyman. He hears the odd noises I often tune out. He was right! my machine was filling and hadn’t stopped because the drain hose had come off. Water from the washer flooded into my kitchen. Yup, we had “loads of fun” mopping that night. We laughed at the irony of the timing coinciding with the hanging of my new home décor. We resumed our relaxing evening, assuming we were finished with clean-up.

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The next day I went to get something out of the basement only to find more of a mess than I expected. More water had come through the heating duct. The duct sprayed water like a showerhead. Boxes on the shelves were as wet as those on the floor. We had to haul out wet boxes and repack a number of them. I was not laughing. My grins and giggles from the night before turned into moans and groans. Two days into the clean-up, I was downright discouraged. I had empty boxes drying and the things that belonged in them waiting to get packed up again. It felt like I’d never get settled into the house, but I did.

Summertime, like laundry, doesn’t always match our expectations. Sometimes it’s better than we hoped it would be. Surprises come our way: discounts on vacations, friends and family coming for unexpected visits. Other times our plans fail to turn out as we thought: someone gets sick on vacation, or the weather rains on our parade, picnic, or hike; in Kansas, spring and summer bring tornado warnings. God sends trial because He sees our need to grow in patience (James 1:2 – 4).

We often experience a gap between what we want and what is. Patience serves as the foundation for flexpectations. We must learn to bend so we don’t break. As God’s children, our pain is never in vain. His purpose is to perfect us.

So don’t be surprised if God sends you to summer school. Hold your expectations of summer—and all things—loosely. Expect God to exercise His sovereignty in your life and complete the good work He began in you (Philippians 1:6). The Lord will always exceed our expectations. God does exceedingly, abundantly above all we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). Trials are God’s laundry room to clean us up and prepare us for eternity.

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Bill bought a t-shirt the year we moved to Kansas. Printed on the front is this saying, “Kansas: exceeding your already low expectations.”  That’s been an accurate assessment of this hidden treasure in the Heartland of the U.S. I think it also applies to the Kingdom of Heaven. I’m sure our finite minds can’t know how wonderful it will be. We can only imagine. But unlike imagining how wonderful our summers will be, heaven will not disappoint! In heaven, we will have “loads & loads of fun!”

Let’s manage our expectations this summer and make room for what God will do.

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“Whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that” James 4:14 – 15.

Let’s greet the summer with flexpectations.

Par*Tea!

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Celebrate God’s Love!

[ˈpärdē] n. 1. a social gathering of invited guests, typically involving eating, drinking, and entertainment; 2. an event of celebration such as in retirement party or birthday party.

v. 1. to enjoy oneself at a celebration or other lively gathering, typically with drinking and music:“put on your glad rags and party!” 2. celebrating while drinking tea in the company of friends.

Are you a party animal? I am! Today is my oldest daughter’s birthday. Happy Labor day to me!

Unfortunately, when I was stupidly young, my idea of a party devolved into drunken debauchery. My love of merriment kept me from following Christ for a long time. “How do Christians have fun?” I wondered. I knew if I asked Jesus to forgive me for drug and alcohol abuse, I would have to honor that confession and stop getting stoned.

Finally, halfway through my twentieth year, I knew I deserved to go to hell for my sin. Giving up my party life seemed a small price to pay to avoid unending condemnation in hell. What amazed me as a babe in Christ is how much more fun Christians experience—without hangovers. We remember our good times without regret. I gave up nothing and gained access to the best party ever, the Kingdom celebration.

God designed people to celebrate together. I feel sorry for those trapped in a false doctrine that prohibits celebrations. From the seventh day of creation until the present, God set the example of celebration. Why else would He have taken a Sabbath? Rest and worship equal a party! God didn’t need rest. However, people do, so He celebrated by spending a relaxing day with Adam and Eve.

Taking the Lord’s day for Sabbath rest allows us to celebrate catching our breath, a change of pace. We celebrate our Creator, the Lord of Heaven and earth. We take time to enjoy His company and the company of His children. We sing and sometimes eat together. Music and laughter fill Sunday services with joy.

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Later in the Law, God showed Moses the feasts He designed for Israel to celebrate together. Some of these feasts were parties. Like observing a birthday on a calendar each year, the Feasts of Israel set God’s calendar in motion; and when the last Feast, the Feast of Trumpets, is fulfilled, the Day of the Lord will come, and a forever party will commence with the Marriage Super of the Lamb. God likes parties! Music, laughter, and His children in merry fellowship bless Him as much as our quiet contemplation and worship. Revelation reveals both times of silence (Revelation 8:1 – 3) and celebration in Heaven (Revelation 19:6 – 8). We even get a sparkling new party dress for this occasion!

I love celebrating Jesus’ resurrection and my new life in Christ every Sunday. My birthday falls on Sunday this year. I intend to party hardy! For sixty-two years, God has given me breath, strength, and every good thing I have. A party is in order; I’ll bring the cupcakes!

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It’s a BYOB (bring your own beverage). I’m bringing tea! What’s your non-intoxicating beverage of choice?

We Need Gracious Reminders

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“Again! again! Pleeease, read it again.”

“Read that story again, Mama!” If you have children and read to them, you’ve often heard this. I bet—once upon a time—you even said it. I know I drove my mom crazy, pleading for my favorite stories when I was little.

It seems we never tire of stories that bring us joy and comfort. It’s not that we don’t know the story; we just want to be reminded of it again. Author Samuel Johnson wrote, “People need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed.”I woke today with a deep need for reminding of some specific verses from Psalms 37.

“Do not fret,” the Psalm begins. That’s the feeling I woke with today. At first, I thought I felt angry, but I could think of no object for my anger. It was a nebulous fretfulness, evidence that my heart needed to be unburdened.

Are you fretting? What about? Speak it. Breathe it into the ears of God and let Him bear the burden. It’s His joy to help us obey His commands.

“Trust in the Lord, and do good;dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.” (Psaml 37:3). Trust that God cares. Trust that He wants to help you. Trust that He is good, powerful, and full of loving-kindness and tender mercies. These reflections will help us move on to the good works He’s prepared for us.

In my unsettled state of mind, I thought I had failed to pay some bills that were now past due. I have to feed on His faithfulness because I am not always faithful. After confessing my neglect, I went to pay the bills. I discovered I had paid the bills after all. I was less of an airhead than I thought I was. How silly I was to fret!

“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” Part of delighting in Him is appreciating His will. As we do, His will becomes ours, and He faithfully does His will in and through us. This is why when we “commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass” (Psalm 37:4).

One of the things I’ve fretted over is getting a Bible study I wrote published. I feel like it’s do-or-die. I’ve put it off too long. But my anxiety hints that I’m believing a lie and not trusting God’s timing and His power to bring it to pass or, in this case, press.

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“Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in his way” (Psalm 37:7).

Ahh—rest—that’s what I need. Rest and patience. I used to think impatience was the opposite of patience until I read Ecclesiastes 7:8, “The end of a thing is better than its beginning; the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.” I’m struggling because I’m proud and want things done on my timetable. Repentance requires me to wait humbly, to wait with a quiet spirit. The truth from this verse I memorized with my granddaughter sums it up best, “Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret—it only causes harm.”

Yes, I needed reminding. Thank You, Abba, for reading me these verses from Psalm 37 again!

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