A Mama’s Empty Arms: When Mother’s Day Hurts
Hot tears streamed down my cheeks. I pleaded as I sat on my toilet, “Please, please, God, let me keep this one. I can’t bear to lose this baby too!” (Nine months before, my first child was stillborn).
His Spirit whispered, “My grace is sufficient.”
In rebellion, I yelled, “I don’t want your grace! I want a baby!”
Thirty years later, I watched in horror as my daughter came close to bleeding to death during a miscarriage. I knew her pain but compounding that was the threat of losing yet another child of my own.
On Mother’s Day, my heart goes out to all the moms who bear the weight of empty arms. For women who long for a child—no burden compares to this heaviness. I think of my young friend who wears a bracelet of birthstone charms signifying the miscarriages of her upheld babies. I weep with a sister in Christ who buried her ten-year–old after losing the fight with a long illness. Two older friends come to mind as they grieve for their sons, lost to suicide. Finally, I consider so many women who desire children but are unable to conceive. Yes, you too belong to the Mamas with Empty Arms Club.
It’s not a group we joined on purpose. Yet, for reasons unknown to us, God allows us admission. And despite the horrible circumstances, we find ourselves in good company. Hannah, an ancient Hebrew woman, felt this weight. “the Lord had closed her womb.” 1 Samuel 1:5. Rachel screamed in desperation to her husband, “Give me children, or else I die!”
Jacob responded, “Am I in the place of God, who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?” Genesis 30:1-2. The Bible confronts us with the harsh reality that God opens and closes our wombs. Scripture defines Him as the Lord of life. During her grief, a woman can wonder, ”Does God even care?”
He does. “He grants the barren woman a home, Like a joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord!” If a deep maternal instinct drives you, God will provide some for you to love and nurture. If you grieve the loss of a child, your heavenly Father knows your pain. He watched His son die too.
Hannah and many other women in Scripture remind us, even in our bareness, God loves us. He counts us worthy of His care and companionship. Despite my screams at His gentle reminder—when I rejected His grace—God never abandoned me. He tenderly led me back to His presence, to worship.
We need to remember Hannah’s example of dealing with her empty arms. She threw herself boldly at God’s mercy seat to find help in her time of need. Unfortunately, others misunderstood her—but not God. I encourage you to read her story in 1Samuel, chapter one.
Hannah reminds us our children belong to the Lord, not us. Therefore, we must offer up our empty arms for His glory and trust Him to be our comforter. And we must remember our tears so that we can weep with those who mourn, as I grieve with you today (2 Corinthians 1:4; Romans 12:15b). May the Lord hold you close when Mother’s Day hurts.