birthdays

b. September 7, 1914 – d. April 11, 2015

I remember standing naked in front of my full-length mirror about six months after my second child was born. The reflection of a saggy, baggy abdomen startled me. It’s not how I remembered my figure looking. A decade or so later, the reflection staring back at me would rattle me again but not with stretch marks. This time I noticed a road map had started to form on my face, lines indicating the most common expressions I made. I want to say these revelations of aging don’t bother me anymore, but that’s not entirely true.

While I’m far more comfortable in my skin than ever before, it still surprises me to witness my future self overshadowing my past visage. I’m sure you can relate to some extent because I’ve heard even eighteen-year-olds remark, “I’m getting old!”  We’re acutely aware that the future invades our present all too quickly.

The future evokes many different emotions for different people. Some may feel apprehensive, even fearful, at the mystery of what’s to come. They cling to the past and fight the effects of aging. Others look forward to new seasons of opportunity and choose to make peace with the older stranger staring back at them from the mirror. This latter choice is the one wise women make. Our ultimate future should inform our present circumstances. “Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future” (Proverbs 31:25).

My grandma, Irène, displayed this strength and dignity. At ninety-nine years old, her rectum collapsed. For a younger person, simple surgery could correct this body failure, but surgery was not an option for my grandmother because of her weak heart. Her response to this humiliating consequence of aging was, “Ces’t la via!” Life in a fallen world will ravage our health over time. When it does, will we choose to smile? Irène did.

For those of us who God gives long life, we should not be surprised that our futures include trial, pain, and loss. Scripture makes this very clear. How will we walk through those wildernesses? Will we smile and trust God for a good ending or complain like the children of Israel? Choosing contentment and joy don’t come naturally. Positive attitudes take life-long cultivation. It takes determination to look beyond our circumstances and trust the Lord to use trials for our good.

 “Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret—it only causes harm” (Psalm 37:8). This is my go-to verse when I feel my knickers in a knot. I don’t want to be an angry, fretful woman. At sixty-one, I’m already feeling a loss of strength and vitality, but I cling to this reality: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:16).

My friend Betty and I share the same birthday, although she’s a few years older than me. When I told her happy birthday, she said, “I quit celebrating those.”

“Why?!” I asked. “Every year is another year closer to going home to Heaven, another year closer to being with the Lord forever, another year closer to having every tear wiped away! Birthdays are always worth celebrating.”

“Well, when you put it like that, you’re right. Let the party begin!”

I’ve been to four 100^th birthday parties and watched many news clips of individuals celebrating their centenarian birthday. No one partied as hearty as my grandma Irène did at her party. She had a live band and danced in her walker. She grinned as the band ended with her favorite song, Good Night, Irène.

God granted me the privilege of knowing many women in their eighties and nineties. I watched as some grumbled through their last years; others flourished and made the most of the time they had left, like Irène. They enjoyed frequent visits from friends and family, continued attending and serving in church, and found ways to use their time well. They finished life grand. I want to finish the way these women did. So, I choose my habits and responses to difficulties with care. This is how they grew grand, and I want to grow grand, too. Do you?

Let’s choose to keep smiling at our futures. When life throws eggs at us, let’s bake a soufflé and say, “Ces’t la via!”

It’s hard to find women in their eighties and nineties that will serve as role models and mentors. So, God put it on my heart to share the treasury of older women He’s put in my life. My book, Choose Now to Grow Grand, Not Old, will be released in October 2022. In this book, I share the characteristics I’ve observed that make these women grand and the choices they made to finish life well. It will be available for pre-order soon. Please check it out by clicking the link below.