humility

Hidden: A Word for 2024

2 Comments / Faith, humility, Knowing God, Maturity, patience, the Bible God's Word / By teri / January 2, 2024 January 15, 2024 / declutter, early spring cleaning, good stewardship, hidden in Christ, New Word for a New Year, obedience

Happy New Year!

Many people, especially writers, chose a one-word theme each year. Do you do this? I do occasionally. But this year, a word chose me—hidden. God whispered it in my ear twice in December. First, through a devotional by Elyse Fitzpatrick. Then again, through a conversation with my mentor and friend, author Heather Holleman.

The Apostal Paul reminds us of our hiding place, “For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3).

We tend to fragment life into the sacred and secular, worship and work, when in reality, God made all of nature supernatural. The spiritual and material coexist in creation. We should never undervalue even the most menial tasks. When done with the right attitude for God’s glory, these are sacred trusts and acts of worship. Here’s an acrostic the Lord gave me for the word hidden:

Held

In
Divine

Dedication

Even

Now

Through my eight-year journey to bring you Choose Now to Grow Grand, Not Old, I’ve buried my basement. It’s the catch-all space in my house where we toss stuff because we aren’t using it and don’t know who needs it. Certainly, we don’t; if we did, we wouldn’t have put it there to begin with. Can you relate? My save-it-for-a-rainy-day storage plan devolved into a deluge.

Since my first book discusses the blessings of downsizing, instead of burdening children with junk, I’m going into hiding to practice what I preach. Abba is sending me to my room until it’s clean, lol! I’ve been meditating on this verse from Ecclesiastes, “a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together,” Ecclesiastes 3:5.

I’d like to think I’m the one wise woman King Salomon never met, but, in truth, I just teri-phrase things. My version goes a time to clutter and a time to clean. Another Terri, Terri Lynn Schump, a sister in the Wellspring Writers group I’m part of, says, “A time to expand and a time to contract.” So, I’m cleaning, contracting, and casting away stones in my basement.

If you study the context of the word hidden in Colossians 3, you will see Paul is calling us to progressive sanctification—learning to live Christ-like. The Lord entrusts all of us with material possessions. The stuff in my basement belongs to Him, and I need to manage His property better. If Bill and I aren’t using it, I must pass it on to someone who will.

So, as an obedient child, I descend the stairs to hide, not in my basement; I’m hiding in Christ.

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Therefore, I will not be blogging for a while.

Since my blah, blah blogging won’t be cluttering your inbox, you have a few extra moments a month to join me and clean out something in your home, if you want, or read something by those incredible Christian women I mentioned at the beginning of this epistle. Follow the links and see what these ladies have written.

Until my basement is tidy, Happy New Year! And Valentine’s Day, President’s Day, Martin Luther King Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Easter . . . you get the idea. I trust you’ll keep steeping in truth with me by daily reading God’s Word.

Blessings!

teri

Drained

Faith, humility, Knowing God, prayer, Spiritual warfare, Trials / By teri / October 17, 2023 October 10, 2023 / depleted, drained

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Help, I’m going down!

Where do rhythms of grace go when life swirls like a tempest? Too many activities. Too much travel. Too much pain. Sometimes life is too much. Jesus calls out to us, “Come unto me all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28).

Jesus’ promised rest isn’t a simple nap, coffee break, or vacation. It’s a supernatural ability to remain rested as we work. And sometimes, the work He leads us into drains us.

When I feel drained, I’m learning to let the Holy Water—the Spirit of God—carry me down. All the way. To the bottom. The end of myself.

In 1 Kings chapter 19, we find Elijah completely drained after he battled it out with the priests of Baal. Full of fear, the prophet who acted fearlessly the day before ran for his life and hid from Jezebel. Like the late great NFL coach, Vince Lombardi said, “Fatigue makes cowards of us all.”

The Lord let Elijah sleep and sent an angel with a take-out order to feed the exhausted prophet. Then, the Lord sent him on another draining task. “Take a hike,” God told Elijah, “to Mount Hroeb,” the Mountain of God.

There, God addresses Elijah’s deep discouragement. Elijah wails pitifully, “I alone am left.” Can you relate? “No one understands.” “I’m the only one who cares about _________(fill in the blank: widows, orphans, the lost).” “No one else is doing the work or suffering like me.” We all feel defeated and alone in our faith at times.

So, the Lord washes Eijah with more overwhelming circumstances: a whirlwind, an earthquake, and a fire. You see, Elijah was still hanging onto his own effort and self-importance. The Lord needed Elijah drained so he would stop listening to the lies in his head.

I’ve traveled far more this year than usual; I’m road-weary. I thought my last trip would be the last for this year. Bill and I attended the Refresh Retreat (an annual event in Connon Beach, OR, for people in full-time ministry). We also went To Washington to see our daughter and her family. We traveled by plane or car for four out of the five days we blocked out for this trip. We drove eight hours between Washinton and Oregon.

I’m glad I could go. I’m thankful for the two nights and one day I had at the retreat to reconnect with good friends and walk the beach. However, the whole experience felt more draining than refreshing. When I returned home, I breathed a sigh of relief. It’s time to get on my face and seek the Lord. I’m empty. I’m done. I’m drained.

So, I mark a date on my calendar for fasting and prayer. Then, a rip tide pulled me under, deeper down the drain. My daughter called me; she needs me to make another trip to Arizona to help my uncle move to Houston, Texas, another state I’ve already been to in the past six months. In the emotional somersaults of my soul, I don’t even know where the bottom is. But I know if I could just settle there, it would give me time to look for the still tiny bubbles of God’s breath. Then, I will see the way up.

The way up is never our way. Jesus is the Way. When we think we’re running on empty—we may not be empty enough. The rhythm of grace draws us to the bottom and leaves us there until we listen quietly. And when we listen, we discover we were never alone. God calls others to join us in His work. He’s not finished with us; if we’re still here, it’s because we have unfinished work to complete. Elijah needed to climb down the mountain and join the other servants of God. He needed to

enlist and train his replacement, Elisha. We, too, are commissioned to “Go and make disciples.” The work doesn’t end just because we feel depleted. Depletion is part of our completion.

So, when life is too, too much, let go. Let’s fall flat on our faces. Go down the Holy Spirit’s drain. Sleep. Eat. And most importantly, listen through the noise for God’s still quiet voice.

Let’s confess our self-pity, our vain aspirations, our striving to prove ourselves. All of this misspent energy has a valuable purpose in God’s plan—to make an end of us. God wants to refill us into a channel for His love and mercy. Be encouraged; we are never alone. Let’s listen for God’s gentle call. He’s happy to be our buoyancy if we just let Him float our boat.

Drained isn’t dead. It’s a readiness for refilling.

Schooled by a Twelve-Year-Old

Family Life, forgiveness, grandparenting, humility, Maturity, repentance / By teri / September 12, 2023 September 7, 2023 / be teachable, homeschooled, learn from others, schooled, trust

Never be too cool for school!

Back-to-school season signals vacation time to empty nesters like me. I no longer rush to get the best deals on school supplies. I don’t have to kiss summer vacation goodbye. Alice Cooper’s song School’s Out for Summer rocks through my mind, but the line “school’s out forever,” by God’s grace, is not a reality for me. I still need schooling.

She and I discussed the road trip we hope to take together next year for her thirteenth birthday. I’ve dreamed of giving her this coming-of-age adventure ever since she was born, a time for intimate one-on-one conversations about womanhood and changing bodies. After all, menopause and aging are the second adolescence.

For those of us who love Jesus and desire to be more like Him, every day is a school day, an opportunity to learn more about Him and be corrected by Him when we’re wrong. I remember how often the Lord used my children to teach and correct me. This summer, He used my twelve-year-old granddaughter to correct my thinking.

We look forward to laughing and discovering together. I want to share with my granddaughter the essential things concerning life—true life in Christ. She’s as excited about this trip as I am.

As we dreamed about the trip, I mentioned, “And we can even have ice cream for breakfast if we want, and your mom doesn’t have to know.” Please understand I am not in the habit of keeping secrets from my daughter. There’s a bit of history here that you should know.

When my granddaughter was five and her little brother was three, the adults ate ice cream after they went to bed. My grandchildren went to bed without ice cream! A terrible injustice in this Grandma’s estimation. So, the following morning, they each received a bowl of ice cream for breakfast, a one-time fun-and-done thing, or maybe an occasional treat. But the silly children ruined the fun when they continued to pester their mom for ice cream for breakfast after returning home. In exasperation, my daughter forbids me to ever serve her kids ice cream for breakfast again. Hence, my remark. At thirteen, I knew my granddaughter wouldn’t want a sugar-packed breakfast every day. It was a harmless bit of fun—I thought. My granddaughter’s reaction to my comment surprised me.

“I don’t think I feel comfortable keeping secrets from my mom,” she replied.

She was right. My suggestion that seemed harmless was very dangerous and foolish. I don’t want her keeping secrets from her mom, either.

“I’m so glad you don’t want to keep secrets from your mom. You are right, and I’m proud of you for telling me so. Will you please forgive me for even suggesting it?” I asked.

I was so ashamed of myself and so proud of her for having more discernment than I did.

She said, “Of course, I forgive you, Grammy.”

She and I both shared our conversations with her mom, my daughter. She understood I meant no harm, and we both enjoyed seeing the maturity of her twelve-year-old. I pray she will continue to have an open relationship with her mom and me. I’m thankful she felt free to disagree with me. I’m also grateful for God’s patient instruction—even when He uses a preteen teacher.

How have your kids or grandkids schooled you recently? Let’s be lifelong learners for God’s glory. It’s how grand gals roll!

Diving In

1 Comment / Community, Faith, friendship, humility, Spiritual warfare / By teri / August 22, 2023 August 19, 2023 / courage, fear bravely, new challenges, scary challenges

By guest blogger Dana C. Krueger, PhD.

Fear Bravely! Go for it!

I’m blessed with brilliant sisters in Christ. As I shared my travel/ blogging dilemma with Dana Krueger, she suggested I recruit guest bloggers when my schedule is demanding. I asked if she’d be willing to contribute to my blog, and she agreed. I know you will enjoy Dr. Krueger’s encouraging words to move into the challenge God has set before you bravely.

I leaned over and told my ten-year-old friend that I was now committed as she took her place in line behind me.

My heart pounded harder as I slowly ascended each step of the high dive. I remembered climbing ladders without this apprehension. What was scarier about this vertical ascent? I reached the top and began to walk to the edge of the diving board, holding on securely to the silver railings with both hands. I looked down at the man in the water who had jumped before me as he swam to the side and then to the lifeguard. My nearsighted eyes didn’t see the head on the red swimsuit nod or give any indication that I may proceed. Perhaps it was okay for me to stall? The blurry figure in the water climbed out of the pool.

Another step. I let go of the railings. The board wobbled. My feet neared the edge. Again, I looked down, seeing only a vague blur of blue with absolutely no sense of distance or depth. Was it safe? I knew it was, but what if I landed badly (not “look like an idiot” badly but “knock the wind out of this 45-year-old woman with a face-forward belly flop” badly)? I felt the breeze and another wobble. My breath caught in my chest.

My friend was behind me somewhere (I didn’t dare look!), patiently waiting her turn, so I knew I couldn’t back out. I didn’t really want to, even though I didn’t feel eager to jump. Okay, I was somewhat terrified to jump, and if she wasn’t there, I may have turned around. But she was there, and I had decided.

I decided.

I stepped off the board.

Another year of homeschooling is approaching. I’m in that same place, at the edge of the diving board, not knowing what’s below, heart thumping in my chest, and a very real inclination to turn back. Perhaps I can see barriers more clearly than my blurred vision from high above the pool. I know well the sounds of tantrums over a challenging subject or assignment, the sibling squabbles, my own struggles with diligence and distractions. I can’t distinguish the depth or distance of the challenges ahead this year, with a pre-teen daughter, a preschooler, three dear kiddos in between, a swirl of curriculum choices, and the pulls of many other responsibilities. My breath catches in my chest. The fear of going forward is real. The fear of failure is great. Is it safe? Can I do this? Really do this?

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I need a strong sense of calling to take that next step, to even set a start date that I will commit to. I need a friend by my side to keep me from turning back. I need to count the cost, moving forward even though there is that chance that I will fall flat on my face (again) and that it will be okay because God’s grace is sufficient, and His power is made perfect in weakness (2 Cor. 12:9). I need to remember the many times the Lord has provided for, encouraged, humbled, and held me as I stepped forward in obedience. I need to prioritize school in a way I haven’t done before. I must simply decide and take that step off the ledge, trusting Him.

I have decided.

Back to the pool

I hit the water with a gentle splash without too much water going up my nose. I swam to the side of the pool, exhilarated and feeling like I had conquered something inside me. (After all, last year, without anyone behind me, I climbed back down the ladder on my last trip to the pool.)

Returning to the homeschool challenge

A gracious friend handed me a box packed with old curriculum guides and many books to let me school alongside her, providing accountability and giving our kids common books to discuss. The Lord has provided a job for me that will allow me to buy the needed books that we weren’t able to purchase even a few years ago. That strong calling is there as I see the need to disciple my children and desire to teach them well and joyfully explore with them.

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I’m not in a place where I feel I can dive into the pool or teaching or most things with complete confidence and without fear. I hope to get there, but now? Now I can hold my breath and jump. I can walk off that board in surrender and faith, knowing that, while it may not be entirely safe, my Jesus is there. I can fear bravely, knowing how worthy He is, and take that step.

What current challenge frightens you? Let’s prayerfully, fearfully, be brave, and move forward together!

Here goes!

Expensive Reminders

1 Comment / Community, Family Life, forbearance, forgiveness, friendship, humility, Marriage, Motherhood, patience, repentance / By teri / July 11, 2023 July 11, 2023 / communication, human-frailty, people are fragile, unreasonable expectations

Don’t Force It!

I yanked the hose hard. I heard a thud mixed with the tinkling sound of shattered porcelain. I went and looked; sure enough, I had knocked down the side table my Bible, journal, glasses, and tea mug sat on. My heart sank as I picked up the pieces of the broken masterpiece. This mug was part of a set of four Claude Monet cups my daughter had given me for Christmas—a treasured gift. This one had been my favorite, Woman with Parasol. It reminded me of my great-grandmother Burton.

How many times did I hear my mom and dad caution me, “Don’t force it, Teri; you’ll break it?” How often have I given that same advice to my children and husband? If I had a penny for each time, I bet I could buy a replacement mug or a whole new set. Holding the fractured portrait in my hand reminded me people are fragile too. We can’t force them to be who they aren’t. We can’t force them to understand us or meet our expectations. When we do, the results hurt more than losing a mug.

Just yesterday, I yanked my husband too hard. I felt fragile and in need of empathy. I thought I had made myself clear. I’d been feeling this way on and off for two weeks, but yesterday—his day off—I expected some undivided attention. I waited until we went for lunch. He commented he was stuffy. I knew that. I even suspected he had a cold, not just allergies like he thought. Yet, I persisted to let him know how I felt. He didn’t get it. Most of us have trouble understanding when our heads are stuffy. He kept missing ques, and I got angry. At one point, I called him a bonehead. There’s no excuse for name-calling, even if it is descriptive. We worked through the tension. I confessed my unrighteous anger; he confessed his insensitivity. This conflict isn’t our first rodeo in forty years; we’ll keep working through our boneheaded moments because that’s what love does.

With patience and persistence, we can grow in understanding others, and they grow in understanding us. Faithful friends don’t dash our expectations on purpose. My dad used to tell my mom when he failed her expectations, “I fail telepathy.” Few are telepaths that can read minds. Most of us need clear articulation and repeated patient instruction.

If I had only gone back and checked to see what the hang-up with the hose was, I would not have shattered a mug. Today if we’re struggling in a relationship, let’s quit yanking others around to get us. Let’s treat them like Bone China not boneheads. Let’s go back to trying to understand them and gently explaining what we want from them. Let’s take these reminders from Scripture to heart today:

“A fool has no delight in understanding, But in expressing his own heart.” Proverbs 18:2

“He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him.” Proverbs 18:13

^“So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man (and woman) does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:19-20

How Improving Our Cultural Intelligence Quotient Makes Us Better Disciple-Makers

Community, Diversity, Faith, Family Life, humility, Maturity, outreach, the Bible God's Word / By teri / April 4, 2023 March 17, 2023 / CQ, cross-cultural interactions, discipleship, Diversity, Family of God

Sisters in God’s Family

Culture matters. We interpret life through a cultural lens. As a result, we can misinterpret essential things. For years my husband told me I was rude because when I’d call him or he’d call me and I failed to live up to his cultural expectation of a personal greeting. Having grown up in a farming community, he’s a warm culture guy. Relationship is king!

But I’m a cold culture woman, raised by a Mainiac (my mom was born and raised in Maine) who gets straight to business. Not wasting people’s time is a sign of respect. So while I tried to respect my husband, he felt disrespected. He’d call. I’d answer, “What do you need?” (quick, short, to the point) Instead of, “How are you? (pause) How may I help you?” Neither of these approaches is right or wrong; they’re just different. Reading the book From Foreign to Familiar helped me not feel beaten up by my husband’s accusations of rudeness. So I love him by inquiring about his well-being, and he honors me by quickly addressing my need.

We honor God’s diverse creation when we learn and honor different cultures. We respect God’s word when we gain an understanding of the ancient cultures that provide the context in Scripture. For example, I never understood why Herodias’s daughter would ask for John the Baptist’s head (Mark 6:21 – 29).

Yuck! As a twelve-year-old girl, if a powerful king made me that offer, I would not ask for such a gruesome thing; and I probably wouldn’t have consulted with my mom. Why? Because I grew up in the individualistic, justice/ punishment culture of the United States. Herodias’s daughter grew up in the ancient culture of Roman-occupied Israel. In that culture, as in many worldwide today, family is valued more than individuality, and shame and honor determine your destiny. It would have been shameful for this young girl not to consult her family. And because John the Baptist shamed her family, asking for his head honored them all. I did not figure this out until a friend from India explained the differences between our American culture and his Asian culture. Then the lights went on, and I finally understood this story.

Learn to Discern

Discerning the difference between what’s cultural and Biblical challenges cross-cultural Bible teachers more than you may think. For instance, the story of the beheading of John the Baptist, is it about a gruesome unjust execution by a people-pleasing king, or is it about a bold prophet who didn’t shirk his responsibility to shame a wicked king? If you answer both, you are correct. Can you see how different cultural lenses will see other principles from the same story? Or how about Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4, is that primarily about crossing lines of ethnic prejudice, or is it about the restoration of the value of women in society, or could it be about the forgiveness of an adulteress? Again your answer will depend on your cultural values; the answer is all of the above.

I’m currently reading Serving with Eyes Wide Open by David Livermore. He shares the western perspective of the story of Joeseph in the last thirteen chapters of Genesis, focusing on Joseph’s faithfulness to God and staying pure when faced with temptations. Then David explains in an eastern honor/ shame culture that they would focus on how Joseph forgave brothers that caused him great harm him. Can you see how both are valid applications? Be careful to call something a Biblical principle that may simply be a principle that speaks to your cultural understanding. Is sin always shameful? Yes. Does God forgive sinners? Yes. These are two Biblical principles unaltered by cultural bias.

Practicing Patience Increases Your CQ

I’m leading a book club of four twenty-something girls. I call us the crazy quilt ladies because we all have different cultural upbringings. One woman is from east Africa, and another comes from west Africa. Two out of five of us operate on African time. The other three of us needed to exercise patience when our African sisters showed up an hour or later to the first meeting. Our two warm culture friends ignore a ticking timepiece if it feels rude to them to leave one gathering to go to the next. The rest of us loved them by reviewing our discussion when they finally showed up. When they did arrive, they were all about being with us; I love that about warm-culture people on African time.

Remember my warm-cultured husband? African time kills his Greman soul. Punctuality is essential to some people groups. Is it to you? More importantly, are you willing to lay down your time consciousness to love someone else who is less trapped in time?

Whether studying the Bible, globe-trotting or making friends in our neighborhoods who come from other places, let’s know there are different ways to live, not right and wrong, just diverse ways. Let’s grow our cultural quotient (CQ) and adapt to the Kingdom Jesus is building from every tribe, tongue, and nation.

Humili*Tea: Serving a Second Cuppa

celebrations, Community, Faith, forbearance, forgiveness, humility, Knowing God, Maturity, Spiritual warfare / By teri / February 21, 2023 February 20, 2023 / humiliation, humility, National BE HUmble Day

/(h)yo͞oˈmilədē/ noun: 1. a modest opinion of one’s own importance, 2. an absence of pride or self-assertion, 3. To accept, with gratitude, a cup of coffee when you’d prefer tea (or vice versa. Teri’s 2022 definition), 4. The cup of tea you drink after you’ve acquired the taste for humble pie (Teri’s 2023 definition).

Happy National Be Humble Day!

(celebrated every year on February 22^nd)

I confess I suffer from the self-inflicted wounds of pride. I confess my pride injures those around me. That’s why humility may become an annual tea party on my website in February. God loves me and has dished me up slices of humble pie in so many flavors that God’s recipes make Baskin Robins look like a vanilla ice cream shop. And by His grace, I’ve acquired a taste for this painful pastry that most people detest.

Through God’s chastening, patience, and love, I have learned to embrace the things that keep my pride in check. Have you?

The canyon between humility and humiliation spans the distance between Heaven and hell. These two things are polar opposites. Humiliation is the awful feeling of shame and failure. It is God’s great blow to the arrogant (Psalm 119:21). God humiliates the proud. When He does, there are two responses: sparks of anger, self-justification, and retaliation or contrition and repentance, which is God’s preferred result. God humiliates to produce humility.

Humility, on the other hand, reveals the confidence of the righteous. Humility receives correction with gratitude (Proverbs 12:1 & 15:10). It secures a believer in the fact that God works all things—even humiliating things—for our good. It is the confidence that every trial perfects our patience and equips us to serve others more effectively.

Humiliation may lead to humility, but it is not the same thing. To feel humiliated and never humbled creates a living hell for the arrogant and everyone around them.

Humility knows there are no second-class saints; they don’t view other sinners as less than or unworthy of compassion. The humble realize the seed for every sin rests in their soul; like St. Paul, they claim they are the chief of all sinners ( 1 Timothy 1:15). Christ displayed perfect humility when He laid down His life for us (Romans 5:8).

The humble make peace. The humiliated stir up strife with anger (Proverbs 15:18).

Do we feel humbled or humiliated by degrading circumstances or admonishment? Trust me, if you don’t learn to enjoy humble pie, our Father will keep serving you slices in unending flavors. Take these lessons to heart on Be Humble Day. Let’s not eat any more humble pie than we have to.

To feel humiliated is human.

To be humbled is divine.