contentment

Flexpectations: Managing Expectations

1 Comment / contentment, Faith, Maturity, patience / By teri / May 30, 2023 March 23, 2023

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Summertime & Loads of Fun!

School’s out. The weather’s warm. The long days of summer commence, and so do our high hopes for this time of year. Summertime expectations remind me of laundry. They pile up, and there’s lots of water play involved. We all look forward to loads of fun in the summer.

Summer was ending when I first moved to Kansas. I bought a sign from Hobby Lobby that reads, “Laundry Room; Loads & loads of fun.” I hung it in our new home next to four matching frames of my kids and silly laundry pictures, including one with a two-year-old who pulled a clean pair of panties over her head like a face mask. The sign provided the perfect finishing touch; my laundry room looked sweet and complete. However, I did not look as complete to God as my laundry room looked to me. So He began to wash the dirty load in my heart.

That night while my husband, Bill, and I watched T.V., Bill said, “Your washer has been filling a long time. Do you think everything’s OK out there?” So I got up to check.
Bill’s superpowers include being a super handyman. He hears the odd noises I often tune out. He was right! my machine was filling and hadn’t stopped because the drain hose had come off. Water from the washer flooded into my kitchen. Yup, we had “loads of fun” mopping that night. We laughed at the irony of the timing coinciding with the hanging of my new home décor. We resumed our relaxing evening, assuming we were finished with clean-up.

The next day I went to get something out of the basement only to find more of a mess than I expected. More water had come through the heating duct. The duct sprayed water like a showerhead. Boxes on the shelves were as wet as those on the floor. We had to haul out wet boxes and repack a number of them. I was not laughing. My grins and giggles from the night before turned into moans and groans. Two days into the clean-up, I was downright discouraged. I had empty boxes drying and the things that belonged in them waiting to get packed up again. It felt like I’d never get settled into the house, but I did.

Summertime, like laundry, doesn’t always match our expectations. Sometimes it’s better than we hoped it would be. Surprises come our way: discounts on vacations, friends and family coming for unexpected visits. Other times our plans fail to turn out as we thought: someone gets sick on vacation, or the weather rains on our parade, picnic, or hike; in Kansas, spring and summer bring tornado warnings. God sends trial because He sees our need to grow in patience (James 1:2 – 4).

We often experience a gap between what we want and what is. Patience serves as the foundation for flexpectations. We must learn to bend so we don’t break. As God’s children, our pain is never in vain. His purpose is to perfect us.

So don’t be surprised if God sends you to summer school. Hold your expectations of summer—and all things—loosely. Expect God to exercise His sovereignty in your life and complete the good work He began in you (Philippians 1:6). The Lord will always exceed our expectations. God does exceedingly, abundantly above all we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). Trials are God’s laundry room to clean us up and prepare us for eternity.

Bill bought a t-shirt the year we moved to Kansas. Printed on the front is this saying, “Kansas: exceeding your already low expectations.” That’s been an accurate assessment of this hidden treasure in the Heartland of the U.S. I think it also applies to the Kingdom of Heaven. I’m sure our finite minds can’t know how wonderful it will be. We can only imagine. But unlike imagining how wonderful our summers will be, heaven will not disappoint! In heaven, we will have “loads & loads of fun!”

Let’s manage our expectations this summer and make room for what God will do.

“Whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that” James 4:14 – 15.

Let’s greet the summer with flexpectations.

Exposing the Lies of Comparison

contentment, Faith, Maturity / By teri / April 18, 2023 March 16, 2023 / comparison, humility, lies, sanctification, truth

Don’t compare apples to oranges

“I wish I were as strong as you,” my friend Jan lamented. How many times had she said this to me? Probably as often as I’ve complained to her, “I wish I were as gentle as you are, Jan.” God possesses both gentleness and strength; therefore, both are godly character traits. It’s true that I have more willful resolve than Jan, and equally true that she’s far more tender with people than I am. Though this is an honest comparison, it leaves us with only half-truths; and a half-truth is a lie.

When we compare ourselves to others, we tend to absolve ourselves of responsibility. “I can’t be as gentle as Jan because we’re different, and that’s how God made us.” Or we become envious. We wish we had a particular characteristic too. Envy ruins relationships. We no longer feel equal but less than or more than. Comparison is a tool our enemy uses to distort the truth.

Satan wants to destroy us with feelings of inferiority and pride. He loves it when we give up and surrender to sin. He doesn’t want us to be better. And that cunning serpent certainly doesn’t want others to see Jesus in us!

On the other hand, God knows we all have different strengths and weaknesses. He expects us to compare ourselves to no one. No one except Jesus. I should never settle for Jan’s imperfect gentleness, just as Jan should not aspire to my inferior strength. The Lord wants us both to grow up and display the gentleness and tenacity of Jesus, the perfect person. But isn’t perfection too much to require of frail sinners like us?

It would be if He didn’t give us His Holy Spirit and the benefit of His written Word, the Bible. Even with those great powerful helps, it’s unlikely that anyone will perfectly display a godly character on this side of glory. However, God promises on that day—His judgment day—He will complete the good work He’s started in us.

So, let’s quit buying into the lies of trying to be someone we were never meant to be. And let’s start pursuing the perfection God intends for us. Let’s strive to be conformed to the image of His dear Son. Enjoy meditating on this song from Zach Williams as you compare yourself to the righteous One.

Grow Grand, Get Rich!

contentment, Faith, Family Life, friendship, Knowing God, Maturity / By teri / October 4, 2022 September 24, 2022 / eternal investments, friendship, get rich, investments, lasting investments, real wealth, wealth

Choose True Wealth

An excerpt from Teri’s new book Choose Now to Grow Grand, Not Old on SALE now for 50% off until October 31st!

The love we give to others, the influence for good we have in another’s life, and the deep, meaningful friendships we make by investing and taking an interest in people; this is the wealth I want to accumulate. It means I must be aware of the people around me and learn to anticipate their needs. It means I need to make an effort to remember names. It amazes me how a stranger serving me responds with delight when I read their name tag and address them by name. We all long for appreciation as an individual who matters. When we choose to learn someone’s name, it speaks volumes to them. I discovered this when Bill and I came to Grace Baptist Church.

Before moving to Kansas, I got a copy of the church’s picture directory and began studying it. I looked at the faces of people I’d never met and prayed for each one by name. The Lord blessed that effort. Over and over again, different members of Grace shared their surprise at how quickly Bill and I remembered their names. They were impressed with how many other people we remembered and knew. All I can say is that I made a small effort, but God multiplied the results. He gets the glory!

God reveals His heart for people by knowing the number of hairs on our heads and knitting each one of us in our mother’s womb. By declaring us His image-bearers, He valued people above all other created beings. The Lord deems us worthy of a priceless redemption bought by the blood of Christ. He paid top dollar for broken merchandise. Now, if that doesn’t make us feel loved, nothing will. And if that doesn’t motivate us to see the value of others, nothing else can. Since God finds people that worthwhile, shouldn’t we? Simple practices like remembering birthdays, favorite colors, and food preferences honor people. Understanding their goals, sorrows, and fears reveals how much we value them. Relationships—thriving, loving relationships—make us truly wealthy.

Let’s grow grand in our relationships by accumulating friends and investing in people. Let’s not be misers when it comes to being generous with people. Let’s get really rich!

Learning ConTENTment

contentment, Faith, Maturity, Trials, wonder of creation / By teri / July 12, 2022 June 27, 2022 / camping, covetousness, heaven, missions, repentance

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This isn’t home!

Every follower of Jesus ought to spend at least one night in a tent because tent camping illustrates lessons we too easily forget, like how to be content in all our circumstances.

When Bill and I moved to Iowa after he graduated from seminary, we settled into a daylight basement apartment. I use the term daylight loosely as the only full windows happened to be in the bedrooms, where it’s nice to have darkness. Two narrow window wells allowed little light into our living room. This dwelling challenged my sanctification because I’m a woman who loves living in the light. I’m not too fond of dimly lit rooms. That apartment provoked a complaining spirit in my soul. I was not content until the Lord reminded me of tents.

I enjoyed camping trips as a child, many under a tent. I remember playing card games through rain storms in a tent. The dim flame of a lantern provided just enough light to see the cards and enjoy the smiling faces of my family. The raindrops tapped on the canvas like unseen fingers striking piano keys to serenade us. And when the rain relented, we’d exit our weekend dwelling and return to enjoy God’s great outdoors, refreshed and glistening with His goodness.

That day in my Iowa dungeon (as I often called it), as I was reading my Bible and praying, the Lord reminded me that tents have no windows, and as a follower of Jesus, this world is not my home.

Dear Sisters, every roof we live under while we are on terra firma is a temporary dwelling, a tent. Understanding the apartment in Iowa was just a temporary dwelling helped me choose contentment. Remembering my happy childhood days surrounded by a canvas draped over poles helped improve my attitude as I traded my dungeon perspective for a tent mentality. But oh, how quickly I would forget.

Two years later, after living in a bright, second-story apartment in Madison, Wisconsin, my husband and I bought our first house. I forgot it was only a tent. I painted and wallpapered and spent countless hours perusing catalogs (much like browsing online)—in reality, covetlogs—dreaming of the day I could afford new furniture and the perfect home décor accessories. Soon a burglar broke in and stole my contentment. His name is Covetousness. Have you met him?

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I had acted like a dim wit trying to turn a tent into a place. I had to confess my sin and be reminded again that I am a pilgrim just passing through. My dream home is Heaven; no store sells furnishings as fine as those in my Father’s house.

I remember Dr. Dobson saying on one of his radio shows that women married for a few years often become discontent with their homes. It’s true. We get bored of the décor, feel finical limits that keep us from the house we really want, and often the messes left by the messy people living in our tent messes with our attitudes. Yet, God expects us to learn contentment no matter what our tent looks like (Philippians 4:11).

After twelve years in Madison, we moved to Oregon and bought our second house. We traded up from three bedrooms to five. The difficult trade-off was losing my huge kitchen in Wisconsin and settling into a tiny galley kitchen in the new house. Apparently, I didn’t settle well. My eighteen-year-old daughter took a summer mission trip to Uganda six years after our move. When she returned, she showed me a picture of a lovely woman named Grace.

“Mom, look at Grace’s kitchen,” it was a simple wood-burning stove in a tiny cement block house. “She cooks for almost a hundred orphans in that kitchen every day. Look at her smile. Mom, please, don’t ever complain about our kitchen again.”

Ouch! Faithful are the wounds of a daughter growing into a loving friend. I needed that tent lesson. I began thanking the Lord for my kitchen, Grace’s example, and a daughter who loved me enough to admonish me when I needed it.

Bill and I now reside in our third tent together. My oldest granddaughter describes it as a palace, but I remind her it’s only a tent. I remind myself and others often it’s all junk until Jesus comes. At sixty-one, I’m still learning new tent lessons. And I promise to share a few more with you as we steep in God’s truth and camp out together (ahh, another joy of camping hot wets in the morning from water boiled over a campfire). Let’s help our hearts learn to be content by humming an old familiar tune (or looking it up on YouTube if it’s new to you),

“This world is not my home. I’m just passing through. My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue. The angels beckon me to Heaven’s open door, and I can’t feel at home in this world anymore!”