forgiveness

One of these Names is Not Like the Others! One of these Names Doesn’t Belong!

celebrations, Faith, forgiveness, Knowing God, the Bible God's Word / By teri / November 28, 2023 October 24, 2023 / Black sheep, Christmas, genealogy of Jesus, sinners and the Savior, Who is Uriah?

So and So begat What’s His Name

The first time I ever heard a genealogy from the Bible was in grade school. “And So and So begot What’s His Name and What’s His name begot Who’s It,” read my grandpa Donaldson without batting an eye. My family laughed except for Grandma Erma. She was not amused by what she deemed irreverent.

I know a few people who get excited about genealogies, like my mom; usually, these people are genealogists. Only brave souls study and compile a family genealogy. When they do, it’s typically personal for their family.

The Apostal Matthew, however, recorded the genealogy of Jesus. Luke also took on this task from a different side of the family. While these are the only two genealogies in the New Testament, lists of who begat who saturate the Old Testament. But in the genealogies of the Bible, Matthew’s is unique.

Some argue the genealogy in Matthew is unique because it mentions women. The Old Testament genealogies rarely mentioned women. However, the patens of Israel’s kings all include women. Matthew’s Gospel establishes Jesus’ legal claim to David’s throne and exalts Him as the King of Kings. A Jewish reader would expect to see some of their queens listed. So, mentioning four women by name is not an anomaly; however, one character is. Uriah!

As I study the genealogies of Scripture, the listing of Uriah should strike us as scandalous. And it does, but not in the way the Lord intends. Our minds too quickly run to his wife, Bathsheba—but despite her blood relationship, her name is absent. The point is not that two adulterers are in the lineage of Christ. While the Lord contrasts a sinful King David with the better King David—Jesus—the sinless King of Kings, there’s more going on with the listing of Uriah.

Uriah is the only time in any Biblical genealogy that a scribe includes the name of a man who is not a relative. If God just wanted to remind us of David’s sin, He could have said, “And David begot Solomon by means of adultery.” But God mentions the name of the victim of this crime, Uriah. When we consider Uriah’s story, we discover two essential truths of the Gospel. First, Uriah exemplifies loyalty to King David. Second, Uriah the Hittite—like the three women mentioned before him—is a Gentile. God vindicated Uriah’s devotion to the King of the Jews by including him in the genealogy of the Messiah. Uriah’s inclusion reminds us Jesus was born to build a kingdom from every tribe, tongue, and nation. Jesus is not just the King of the Jews like David was. Jesus honors and welcomes every person who pledges allegiance to Him as Uriah pledged allegiance to David.

So, as we read Mathew’s Christmas story, slow down in the opening genealogy. Let’s savor every word of God and not insert a name that isn’t recorded. Better yet, let’s stop after reading his name and read Uriah’s story in 2 Samuel 11 – 12. This account reminds us that one man’s sin brings death to many, just as the birth and death of the Savior bring many to life.

The peace on earth Jesus brings is peace with God—the forgiveness of sin and the redemption of all the devastation our sins inflict upon others. Uriah’s name doesn’t belong in Christ’s genealogy any more than our names belong in the Book of Life. But praise God, we can hear the angels sing, “Peace on earth, goodwill to men.” And by God’s grace, our names are written down in glory too. Merry CHRISTmas!

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Schooled by a Twelve-Year-Old

Family Life, forgiveness, grandparenting, humility, Maturity, repentance / By teri / September 12, 2023 September 7, 2023 / be teachable, homeschooled, learn from others, schooled, trust

Never be too cool for school!

Back-to-school season signals vacation time to empty nesters like me. I no longer rush to get the best deals on school supplies. I don’t have to kiss summer vacation goodbye. Alice Cooper’s song School’s Out for Summer rocks through my mind, but the line “school’s out forever,” by God’s grace, is not a reality for me. I still need schooling.

She and I discussed the road trip we hope to take together next year for her thirteenth birthday. I’ve dreamed of giving her this coming-of-age adventure ever since she was born, a time for intimate one-on-one conversations about womanhood and changing bodies. After all, menopause and aging are the second adolescence.

For those of us who love Jesus and desire to be more like Him, every day is a school day, an opportunity to learn more about Him and be corrected by Him when we’re wrong. I remember how often the Lord used my children to teach and correct me. This summer, He used my twelve-year-old granddaughter to correct my thinking.

We look forward to laughing and discovering together. I want to share with my granddaughter the essential things concerning life—true life in Christ. She’s as excited about this trip as I am.

As we dreamed about the trip, I mentioned, “And we can even have ice cream for breakfast if we want, and your mom doesn’t have to know.” Please understand I am not in the habit of keeping secrets from my daughter. There’s a bit of history here that you should know.

When my granddaughter was five and her little brother was three, the adults ate ice cream after they went to bed. My grandchildren went to bed without ice cream! A terrible injustice in this Grandma’s estimation. So, the following morning, they each received a bowl of ice cream for breakfast, a one-time fun-and-done thing, or maybe an occasional treat. But the silly children ruined the fun when they continued to pester their mom for ice cream for breakfast after returning home. In exasperation, my daughter forbids me to ever serve her kids ice cream for breakfast again. Hence, my remark. At thirteen, I knew my granddaughter wouldn’t want a sugar-packed breakfast every day. It was a harmless bit of fun—I thought. My granddaughter’s reaction to my comment surprised me.

“I don’t think I feel comfortable keeping secrets from my mom,” she replied.

She was right. My suggestion that seemed harmless was very dangerous and foolish. I don’t want her keeping secrets from her mom, either.

“I’m so glad you don’t want to keep secrets from your mom. You are right, and I’m proud of you for telling me so. Will you please forgive me for even suggesting it?” I asked.

I was so ashamed of myself and so proud of her for having more discernment than I did.

She said, “Of course, I forgive you, Grammy.”

She and I both shared our conversations with her mom, my daughter. She understood I meant no harm, and we both enjoyed seeing the maturity of her twelve-year-old. I pray she will continue to have an open relationship with her mom and me. I’m thankful she felt free to disagree with me. I’m also grateful for God’s patient instruction—even when He uses a preteen teacher.

How have your kids or grandkids schooled you recently? Let’s be lifelong learners for God’s glory. It’s how grand gals roll!

National All or Nothing Day—July 26, 2023

Faith, forgiveness, Knowing God, the Bible God's Word / By teri / July 25, 2023 July 12, 2023 / all or nothing, forgiven, sinner or saint?

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Will you give God everything?

“Do or do not. There is no try.” ~ Yoda. The little green guy with long ears may have had a false impression of the true Force, but he was definitely on to something. When it comes to seeking God or following Jesus, it really is all or nothing. “Take up your cross (a Roman execution instrument),” “Lay down your life,” and “Give away all that you have and follow Me.” These are startling invitations, but this is the Gospel. Jesus isn’t asking us to do what He hasn’t already done.

Jesus gave up a perfect home to be born in a barn and rub shoulders with sinners. He often rubbed them the wrong way. Before He ever paid the horrific death penalty we owed to God, He called sinners to repent. I’ll paraphrase it like this, Jesus said, “Turn away from life as you know it because you’re dead men walking. You’re like zombies traipsing off a cliff. Turn around; I am the way, the truth, and the life. Everything else in this world, except the whispers from my defiled creation, are lies.”

We all come into God’s family by new birth. I’ve never seen a partial person or half a baby. People may have physical defects, but sin defiles us all. Yup, sin is another all-or-nothing concept.

All have sinned. All have come short of God’s glory; there are none righteous, no not one (Romans 3:10, 23). Yet a miraculous change happens at the new birth, we get a complete blood transfusion, and the infection of spiritual death is no more. Completely G-O-N-E! And while we struggle with sin in our skin (the flesh), the penalty is paid in full. So where are you at today with Jesus?

Do you have all of His forgiveness or none of it? Personally, I’d rather die and live forever than live a drop-in-bucket life and die for all eternity paying for my sins. Born once, die twice. Born twice, die once. 1+1+1= 1 in the Kingdom of our God of the impossible. You are one dead sinner or one living saint. It really is all or nothing!

Expensive Reminders

1 Comment / Community, Family Life, forbearance, forgiveness, friendship, humility, Marriage, Motherhood, patience, repentance / By teri / July 11, 2023 July 11, 2023 / communication, human-frailty, people are fragile, unreasonable expectations

Don’t Force It!

I yanked the hose hard. I heard a thud mixed with the tinkling sound of shattered porcelain. I went and looked; sure enough, I had knocked down the side table my Bible, journal, glasses, and tea mug sat on. My heart sank as I picked up the pieces of the broken masterpiece. This mug was part of a set of four Claude Monet cups my daughter had given me for Christmas—a treasured gift. This one had been my favorite, Woman with Parasol. It reminded me of my great-grandmother Burton.

How many times did I hear my mom and dad caution me, “Don’t force it, Teri; you’ll break it?” How often have I given that same advice to my children and husband? If I had a penny for each time, I bet I could buy a replacement mug or a whole new set. Holding the fractured portrait in my hand reminded me people are fragile too. We can’t force them to be who they aren’t. We can’t force them to understand us or meet our expectations. When we do, the results hurt more than losing a mug.

Just yesterday, I yanked my husband too hard. I felt fragile and in need of empathy. I thought I had made myself clear. I’d been feeling this way on and off for two weeks, but yesterday—his day off—I expected some undivided attention. I waited until we went for lunch. He commented he was stuffy. I knew that. I even suspected he had a cold, not just allergies like he thought. Yet, I persisted to let him know how I felt. He didn’t get it. Most of us have trouble understanding when our heads are stuffy. He kept missing ques, and I got angry. At one point, I called him a bonehead. There’s no excuse for name-calling, even if it is descriptive. We worked through the tension. I confessed my unrighteous anger; he confessed his insensitivity. This conflict isn’t our first rodeo in forty years; we’ll keep working through our boneheaded moments because that’s what love does.

With patience and persistence, we can grow in understanding others, and they grow in understanding us. Faithful friends don’t dash our expectations on purpose. My dad used to tell my mom when he failed her expectations, “I fail telepathy.” Few are telepaths that can read minds. Most of us need clear articulation and repeated patient instruction.

If I had only gone back and checked to see what the hang-up with the hose was, I would not have shattered a mug. Today if we’re struggling in a relationship, let’s quit yanking others around to get us. Let’s treat them like Bone China not boneheads. Let’s go back to trying to understand them and gently explaining what we want from them. Let’s take these reminders from Scripture to heart today:

“A fool has no delight in understanding, But in expressing his own heart.” Proverbs 18:2

“He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him.” Proverbs 18:13

^“So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man (and woman) does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:19-20

Humili*Tea: Serving a Second Cuppa

celebrations, Community, Faith, forbearance, forgiveness, humility, Knowing God, Maturity, Spiritual warfare / By teri / February 21, 2023 February 20, 2023 / humiliation, humility, National BE HUmble Day

/(h)yo͞oˈmilədē/ noun: 1. a modest opinion of one’s own importance, 2. an absence of pride or self-assertion, 3. To accept, with gratitude, a cup of coffee when you’d prefer tea (or vice versa. Teri’s 2022 definition), 4. The cup of tea you drink after you’ve acquired the taste for humble pie (Teri’s 2023 definition).

Happy National Be Humble Day!

(celebrated every year on February 22^nd)

I confess I suffer from the self-inflicted wounds of pride. I confess my pride injures those around me. That’s why humility may become an annual tea party on my website in February. God loves me and has dished me up slices of humble pie in so many flavors that God’s recipes make Baskin Robins look like a vanilla ice cream shop. And by His grace, I’ve acquired a taste for this painful pastry that most people detest.

Through God’s chastening, patience, and love, I have learned to embrace the things that keep my pride in check. Have you?

The canyon between humility and humiliation spans the distance between Heaven and hell. These two things are polar opposites. Humiliation is the awful feeling of shame and failure. It is God’s great blow to the arrogant (Psalm 119:21). God humiliates the proud. When He does, there are two responses: sparks of anger, self-justification, and retaliation or contrition and repentance, which is God’s preferred result. God humiliates to produce humility.

Humility, on the other hand, reveals the confidence of the righteous. Humility receives correction with gratitude (Proverbs 12:1 & 15:10). It secures a believer in the fact that God works all things—even humiliating things—for our good. It is the confidence that every trial perfects our patience and equips us to serve others more effectively.

Humiliation may lead to humility, but it is not the same thing. To feel humiliated and never humbled creates a living hell for the arrogant and everyone around them.

Humility knows there are no second-class saints; they don’t view other sinners as less than or unworthy of compassion. The humble realize the seed for every sin rests in their soul; like St. Paul, they claim they are the chief of all sinners ( 1 Timothy 1:15). Christ displayed perfect humility when He laid down His life for us (Romans 5:8).

The humble make peace. The humiliated stir up strife with anger (Proverbs 15:18).

Do we feel humbled or humiliated by degrading circumstances or admonishment? Trust me, if you don’t learn to enjoy humble pie, our Father will keep serving you slices in unending flavors. Take these lessons to heart on Be Humble Day. Let’s not eat any more humble pie than we have to.

To feel humiliated is human.

To be humbled is divine.

The Joys of keeping Covenant

celebrations, Faith, Family Life, forbearance, forgiveness, Knowing God, Marriage, Spiritual warfare / By teri / January 10, 2023 January 3, 2023

I Do Means I Only Do You, and You Only Do Me

`till Death Do Us Part.

Two days ago, my husband and I marked the forty-year milestone in our marriage—a ruby anniversary. That’s right; the 40th anniversary is the ruby anniversary. I wonder if that makes me a real-life Proverbs 31 woman. After forty years of marriage, am I worth more than rubies? Our anniversary celebration brought back bitter-sweet memories of planning a surprise party for my parents’ 40^th in 2000, twenty-three years ago.

My parents, David and Janet Donaldson, May 2000.

I’m so thankful God put it on my heart to do this for them. I called all their friends and relatives from across the country and invited everyone. I asked those who couldn’t come to please send a card. My folks had no idea what I’d been up to. The looks on their faces were priceless. My parents never celebrated a 50th. My dad passed away six years later at the age of 67. So young!

My husband turned 67 a few months ago. We realize life comes with no guarantees, so we threw a big ruby bash with a 1940s ruby slipper vibe. We’ve spent the last decade living in Kansas, and no doubt my “red shoes encouraged, but not required” personal comment to family members and a few friends met Dorothy’s approval.

My middle daughter gifted me with a stunning, custom-designed red satin dress. I had been looking online for a new affordable dress, and she said, “No, Mom. It’s like a second wedding dress. I want it to be special.”

More remarkable than her expensive present was the clean feeling of fidelity my husband and I share. I did not wear white to our wedding forty years ago because the chastity it symbolizes was not mine to give. I didn’t come to Jesus as a virgin and would not misrepresent myself in a covenant ceremony. By God’s grace, I am a chaste bride.

Celebrating our 25th anniversary, I wore a white and silver top. All of our children were single in 2008.

While wearing this “second wedding dress” brings me joy, honesty brings me even greater pleasure. My husband and I speak honestly and openly about our sexual relationship. It was not always that way. We both carried baggage into our marital bed; most people do. Even virgins can struggle to find or give marital pleasure to one another. If only we were honest! We could learn to cry and pray with our spouses as we work out these difficulties. Bill and I learned to do that, and you can too!

Celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary in forties fashion!

Then there’s the joy of holiness. Chaste couples enjoy the pleasure of worship in their marriage bed. God intended sexual intimacy between a husband and wife to culminate in fireworks and out-of-body ecstasy. It may not happen every time, but when it does, my hubby and I are not the only ones saying, “That was good!” The Lord declares, “It is good,” too.

Intimacy creates a safe place to find joy. To share yourself, and expose yourself unashamed with the only person you trust implicitly for a lifetime, satisfies a soul more than the world’s cheap imitation.

Our bodies change over time; we will never be as firm and attractive as we were in our 20s and 30s. Fidelity develops a more profound attraction over time. The covenant commitment makes wrinkles appear softer, flab appear firmer, and even sag seems sumptuous. Fidelity in lifelong matrimony is magic, sheer miraculous joy!

Bill and Teri with their youngest two grandbabies.

Let’s keep our vows. Let’s live in the joy of fidelity God intends for us. It’s not easy, and sometimes we need help. Bill and I sought counseling when we sometimes struggled to be mutually satisfied in our marriage bed.

If you are struggling in your marriage, seek godly Biblical counseling. Let someone help you and your husband learn to enjoy what God intended for your pleasure. And if you or your spouse have violated your covenant through adultery, don’t despair. I repeat. Do. Not. Despair! Our God provides forgiveness and restoration. He pursues His unfaithful bride. The Lord even called the prophet Hosea to marry the prostitute, Gomer, to illustrate His unfailing love and forgiveness. By God’s grace, He restores even the most hopeless relationships and helps us forgive sins that seem unforgivable.

It is a new year. Let’s celebrate with a renewed commitment to fidelity.

If you’re struggling and want me to pray confidentially for you, please email me at [email protected].

Lord, let the wonder of Your unfailing love shine into a world that desperately needs to understand the joys of staying married. Let our marriages reflect the beauty of our covenant-keeping Savior.