Unbelief

I pounded my fists on the door in the dark—darkness like a tomb. “Please, let us out! Don’t lock us in here,” My toddler and baby wailed in response to their mother’s frantic furry. Just seconds ago, light illumined this store restroom where we came for a potty break. The lights went out as I washed my hands. “What happened?” I wondered. Then it dawned on me it was late afternoon on a Sunday. The mall was closing. With my hip along the counter to guide me to the exit, I rushed to the door. I pushed hard; the door didn’t budge. I panicked.

 “What ifs” flooded my mind. What if they can’t hear me? What if everyone leaves, and the kids and I are stuck in the dark until tomorrow morning? What if? What if ?! What if?!! Not once did I think about “what is.”

After what felt like hours but was merely a minute or two, the door pushed against me. A wedge of pale light grew as a clerk opened the door. Like a sunrise, the irony of my situation dawned on me; I had been trying to push open a door I should have pulled.  How foolish I felt all because I failed to focus on my reality—the what is.

You see, my babies and I were never alone in the dark. God is ever-present, everywhere. If I had just taken a deep breath when my anxiety started and prayed a simple “Help, Lord,” I know He would have impressed me to pull the door instead of pushing. But, no, I listened to all of satan’s “what ifs.”

There’s an old saying, “If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we’d all have a merry Christmas.”  While if’s and buts are helpful in strategy games like chess and checkers, they hinder our present appreciation of life circumstances. The only if we should consider is, “Lord, if you will” ( James 4:13-15). I forgot in that scary, dark place that the Lord was there and willing to Give me wisdom (James 1:5). I forgot that He is my protective Father who provides for all my needs (Matthew 6:26); when we forget, we fail. We fail to do the right things. We fail to honor our Savior. Just like the forgetful children of Israel, we wander in the wilderness and go into exile. Forgetfulness of Who our Father is and what His will is for us leads to sin. Yes, my frantic screams and blows against that bathroom door were sinful acts of unbelief, but I learned a valuable lesson from my regrettable actions. I knew not only did I need to pray instead of panic, but I also realized what a terrible example I had set for my children. I became aware that my failure to practice what I preach affects others, not just me.

As my children grew, they heard me say this a lot, “Smart people learn from their mistakes. Smarter people learn from the mistakes of others.” So, my prayer for you today, dear Reader, is that you’ll learn from me to be mindful of the truth of what is and not let the what-ifs send you into a frenzy.

What truth do you need to remember today?