Family Life

13 Days ‘til Christmas! Are Your Gifts Wrapped?

celebrations, Faith, Family Life, Knowing God, outreach / By teri / December 12, 2023 October 24, 2023 / Christmas shopping, finding the perfect gift, gift-giving

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Ready or not,

Jesus,

and Christmas are coming!

Too often, in the celebration of Christmas, we scurry like squirrels from store to store to get gifts for those we love. We make lists and budget money and, hopefully, pray as we shop. We want to bless people with unique presents that will enhance their lives. We want to find the gift that gives joy and makes memories like a sinless babe wrapped in swaddling clothes Who brought us the first Christmas. We can never outgive God. But we can rethink gift-giving and exercise greater discernment.

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Often, what people need most is not more things. I intentionally choose perishable gifts for some people. My mom has downsized for the last time and prefers not to figure out where to put more stuff. Theater tickets, yummy treats, and shared experiences mean much more to her than nick-nacks. She appreciates “things” she doesn’t have to find a place for. Truth be told, I also enjoy giving her things I won’t have to throw away or dispose of after she passes away. Not to sound morbid, but my mom is eighty-eight; our time together is passing quickly. Spending time together means a lot to both of us. I try to visit her for her birthday each year and have her stay with us at Christmas. Yes, I’m giving her gifts we both enjoy.

Three of my four kids earn annual incomes greater than mine. “What do you want for your birthday?” I’ll ask my son-in-love. “We want you to come for a visit,” he replies. Maybe the perfect gift for someone on your list is time. Just visit them. Perhaps a plane ticket costs three times more than you budgeted—but if you can afford it—think how delighted a parent or child would be if you were the Christmas gift on their doorstep. That’s what God did when He sent His Son, Emmanuel; God came to see us and to let us see Him.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” James 1:17. God benefits from everything He’s given us no matter how great His sacrifice, “looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2

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Jesus came to give us life; good gifts promote health like the bicycles Bill and I gave our grandchildren this year. Bikes are not cheap. We combined our Christmas and birthday budgets for each child. My daughter, who hates clutter, was thrilled, and so were her kids. However, it came at the sacrifice of not receiving a gift on their birthdays and Christmas. All four kids received their bikes on their oldest sister’s birthday in mid-July so they could all ride the bikes in sunny, warm weather.

However, the two youngest girls who received bikes turned eight and six in October. So I decided to send a card and a very inexpensive gift to go on their bikes. The eight-year-old loves crafts and buttons. She received a button-bike bling kit I assembled for her. I included twisty ties so she could decorate her basket. She even shared her buttons with her sisters; all the girls received bike-basket, button, bling! Good gifts promote creativity and can be shared. The six-year-old rides fast! We call her Brave Maeve. She received streamers for her handlebars.

Teaching delayed gratification is good. Eve’s first son wasn’t the Savior she hoped for when she held up Cain and said, “Look, God gave us a man!” God gave His Son in the fullness of time (Galatians 4:4), not instantly at the beginning of the world. Maybe the best thing you can give a child is a savings account. My cousin used the money our grandma sent her kids and put it in the bank. They didn’t receive Great Grandma Irene’s many years of gifts until they were eighteen. I wish I had thought of that!!

All gifts don’t need to come in pretty wrapping paper or sit under the tree. I’m not a genius when it comes to gift-giving. The secret to giving great, memory-making presents is not a secret. Pray! Jesus tells us, “Without me, you can do nothing.” (John 15:5) Good gift-giving included.

If finding the perfect gifts and getting all that junk wrapped is stressing you out, maybe you need to drop to your knees, worship the Father of Lights, and ask Jesus, the Light of the World, to give you wisdom. Then, please take a deep breath and savor this Holy Season we call Advent. Wrapping up your Christmas shopping may not involve wrapping at all. The fact that Jesus came reminds us He’s coming again. Do your neighbors, friends, and family know? Let’s ensure everyone knows that Christ died for them, lives for them, and is returning for His people. Jesus is the perfect gift for everyone!

Merry Christmas!

Schooled by a Twelve-Year-Old

Family Life, forgiveness, grandparenting, humility, Maturity, repentance / By teri / September 12, 2023 September 7, 2023 / be teachable, homeschooled, learn from others, schooled, trust

Never be too cool for school!

Back-to-school season signals vacation time to empty nesters like me. I no longer rush to get the best deals on school supplies. I don’t have to kiss summer vacation goodbye. Alice Cooper’s song School’s Out for Summer rocks through my mind, but the line “school’s out forever,” by God’s grace, is not a reality for me. I still need schooling.

She and I discussed the road trip we hope to take together next year for her thirteenth birthday. I’ve dreamed of giving her this coming-of-age adventure ever since she was born, a time for intimate one-on-one conversations about womanhood and changing bodies. After all, menopause and aging are the second adolescence.

For those of us who love Jesus and desire to be more like Him, every day is a school day, an opportunity to learn more about Him and be corrected by Him when we’re wrong. I remember how often the Lord used my children to teach and correct me. This summer, He used my twelve-year-old granddaughter to correct my thinking.

We look forward to laughing and discovering together. I want to share with my granddaughter the essential things concerning life—true life in Christ. She’s as excited about this trip as I am.

As we dreamed about the trip, I mentioned, “And we can even have ice cream for breakfast if we want, and your mom doesn’t have to know.” Please understand I am not in the habit of keeping secrets from my daughter. There’s a bit of history here that you should know.

When my granddaughter was five and her little brother was three, the adults ate ice cream after they went to bed. My grandchildren went to bed without ice cream! A terrible injustice in this Grandma’s estimation. So, the following morning, they each received a bowl of ice cream for breakfast, a one-time fun-and-done thing, or maybe an occasional treat. But the silly children ruined the fun when they continued to pester their mom for ice cream for breakfast after returning home. In exasperation, my daughter forbids me to ever serve her kids ice cream for breakfast again. Hence, my remark. At thirteen, I knew my granddaughter wouldn’t want a sugar-packed breakfast every day. It was a harmless bit of fun—I thought. My granddaughter’s reaction to my comment surprised me.

“I don’t think I feel comfortable keeping secrets from my mom,” she replied.

She was right. My suggestion that seemed harmless was very dangerous and foolish. I don’t want her keeping secrets from her mom, either.

“I’m so glad you don’t want to keep secrets from your mom. You are right, and I’m proud of you for telling me so. Will you please forgive me for even suggesting it?” I asked.

I was so ashamed of myself and so proud of her for having more discernment than I did.

She said, “Of course, I forgive you, Grammy.”

She and I both shared our conversations with her mom, my daughter. She understood I meant no harm, and we both enjoyed seeing the maturity of her twelve-year-old. I pray she will continue to have an open relationship with her mom and me. I’m thankful she felt free to disagree with me. I’m also grateful for God’s patient instruction—even when He uses a preteen teacher.

How have your kids or grandkids schooled you recently? Let’s be lifelong learners for God’s glory. It’s how grand gals roll!

Expensive Reminders

1 Comment / Community, Family Life, forbearance, forgiveness, friendship, humility, Marriage, Motherhood, patience, repentance / By teri / July 11, 2023 July 11, 2023 / communication, human-frailty, people are fragile, unreasonable expectations

Don’t Force It!

I yanked the hose hard. I heard a thud mixed with the tinkling sound of shattered porcelain. I went and looked; sure enough, I had knocked down the side table my Bible, journal, glasses, and tea mug sat on. My heart sank as I picked up the pieces of the broken masterpiece. This mug was part of a set of four Claude Monet cups my daughter had given me for Christmas—a treasured gift. This one had been my favorite, Woman with Parasol. It reminded me of my great-grandmother Burton.

How many times did I hear my mom and dad caution me, “Don’t force it, Teri; you’ll break it?” How often have I given that same advice to my children and husband? If I had a penny for each time, I bet I could buy a replacement mug or a whole new set. Holding the fractured portrait in my hand reminded me people are fragile too. We can’t force them to be who they aren’t. We can’t force them to understand us or meet our expectations. When we do, the results hurt more than losing a mug.

Just yesterday, I yanked my husband too hard. I felt fragile and in need of empathy. I thought I had made myself clear. I’d been feeling this way on and off for two weeks, but yesterday—his day off—I expected some undivided attention. I waited until we went for lunch. He commented he was stuffy. I knew that. I even suspected he had a cold, not just allergies like he thought. Yet, I persisted to let him know how I felt. He didn’t get it. Most of us have trouble understanding when our heads are stuffy. He kept missing ques, and I got angry. At one point, I called him a bonehead. There’s no excuse for name-calling, even if it is descriptive. We worked through the tension. I confessed my unrighteous anger; he confessed his insensitivity. This conflict isn’t our first rodeo in forty years; we’ll keep working through our boneheaded moments because that’s what love does.

With patience and persistence, we can grow in understanding others, and they grow in understanding us. Faithful friends don’t dash our expectations on purpose. My dad used to tell my mom when he failed her expectations, “I fail telepathy.” Few are telepaths that can read minds. Most of us need clear articulation and repeated patient instruction.

If I had only gone back and checked to see what the hang-up with the hose was, I would not have shattered a mug. Today if we’re struggling in a relationship, let’s quit yanking others around to get us. Let’s treat them like Bone China not boneheads. Let’s go back to trying to understand them and gently explaining what we want from them. Let’s take these reminders from Scripture to heart today:

“A fool has no delight in understanding, But in expressing his own heart.” Proverbs 18:2

“He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him.” Proverbs 18:13

^“So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man (and woman) does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:19-20

The Necessity of Delight

Faith, Family Life, Knowing God, Marriage, the Bible God's Word, wonder of creation / By teri / June 27, 2023 June 5, 2023

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The most delightful people delight!

Delight—what a delicious word; it twirls on my tongue! It lights my imagination. It radiates warmth in my soul. The Lord flecked His canvas of creation with a brush full of delights. The earth sings witness to how delightful her Creator is; if we fail to join in her chorus, we miss the point of all these pleasantries. Do we let the wonder of creation usher us into the presence of Him, Who is most delightful?

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 ESV

Recently, I visited a younger friend struggling in her marriage. As she lamented her present relationship, the Holy Spirit impressed this verse in my mind and made it clear I should speak this truth. It seemed so trite to me, like rattling off Romans 8:28. Yet, that was God’s counsel. The following morning, my insight still felt dismissive; I needed to reflect on the verse I shared with her. As I reread Psalm 37, I marveled at God’s wisdom. Most of my friend’s desires have been God-honoring. She desires to be a faithful, loving wife and mother—a delightful spouse and parent. But I fear she covets a better marriage more than she is presently delighting in her First Love.

Covetousness is a sneaky sin that perverts blessings into idols. And when we focus and bow down to what we don’t have, we fail to delight in what we do have: an eternal relationship with the Perfect Lover of our soul. When we delight in Jesus, He releases us from the fretting fearfulness our idols inflict on us. Does it really matter if our husbands fail to love us well when we’re consumed with the perfect love of God? No.

All people love imperfectly, including you and me. All people sin. We’re all selfish failures sometimes, and yet God delights in each of us, including others who let us down.

“But the Lord’s portion is his people, Jacob his allotted heritage.“He found him in a desert land, and in the howling waste of the wilderness; he encircled him, he cared for him, he kept him as the apple of his eye.” Deuteronomy 32:9-10 ESV.

The phrase “apple of my eye” comes from these verses, and it’s long been the expression of a deep, delightful love. Today I redeemed an old Stevie Wonder song for my worship to the Lord, singing to Him, “You are the sunshine of my life,” He replied, “You are the apple of my eye. That’s why I always stay around.” And He’s singing that to you today.

Maybe like my dear friend, you’re experiencing a difficult passage in your walk with God. Know He still delights in you. Reflect on this reality, “He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me” (Psalm 18:19 ESV, italics added). If you trusted Him for salvation from sin, how can you not trust Him again to deliver you out of this present trial? Keep trusting. Keep doing the right thing. Keep your integrity. He promises good results. This excerpt from The NET Bible refreshed my perspective on delight.

³Trust in the Lord and do what is right.
Settle in the land and maintain your integrity.^[^e^]
⁴Then you will take delight in the Lord,^[^f^]
and he will answer your prayers.^[^g^]
⁵Commit your future to the Lord.^[^h^]
Trust in him, and he will act on your behalf.” The NET Bible

Keep praying! He will answer. Our delight begins with obedience and ends with praise. Delighting in the Lord changes us. It transforms our prayers and desires.

Delighting in God opens our eyes to what He finds delightful in others. As we delight in Him, He transforms us into more delightful women.

“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit” (2 Corinthians 3:18, ESV).

**Par*Tea!**

celebrations, Community, Faith, Family Life, Knowing God, Teatime Qualities / By teri / May 16, 2023 February 21, 2023 / celebrattion, drunkeness, Love, party, Tea Party

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Celebrate God’s Love!

[ˈpärdē] n. 1. a social gathering of invited guests, typically involving eating, drinking, and entertainment; 2. an event of celebration such as in retirement party or birthday party.

v. 1. to enjoy oneself at a celebration or other lively gathering, typically with drinking and music:“put on your glad rags and party!” 2. celebrating while drinking tea in the company of friends.

Are you a party animal? I am! Today is my oldest daughter’s birthday. Happy Labor day to me!

Unfortunately, when I was stupidly young, my idea of a party devolved into drunken debauchery. My love of merriment kept me from following Christ for a long time. “How do Christians have fun?” I wondered. I knew if I asked Jesus to forgive me for drug and alcohol abuse, I would have to honor that confession and stop getting stoned.

Finally, halfway through my twentieth year, I knew I deserved to go to hell for my sin. Giving up my party life seemed a small price to pay to avoid unending condemnation in hell. What amazed me as a babe in Christ is how much more fun Christians experience—without hangovers. We remember our good times without regret. I gave up nothing and gained access to the best party ever, the Kingdom celebration.

God designed people to celebrate together. I feel sorry for those trapped in a false doctrine that prohibits celebrations. From the seventh day of creation until the present, God set the example of celebration. Why else would He have taken a Sabbath? Rest and worship equal a party! God didn’t need rest. However, people do, so He celebrated by spending a relaxing day with Adam and Eve.

Taking the Lord’s day for Sabbath rest allows us to celebrate catching our breath, a change of pace. We celebrate our Creator, the Lord of Heaven and earth. We take time to enjoy His company and the company of His children. We sing and sometimes eat together. Music and laughter fill Sunday services with joy.

Later in the Law, God showed Moses the feasts He designed for Israel to celebrate together. Some of these feasts were parties. Like observing a birthday on a calendar each year, the Feasts of Israel set God’s calendar in motion; and when the last Feast, the Feast of Trumpets, is fulfilled, the Day of the Lord will come, and a forever party will commence with the Marriage Super of the Lamb. God likes parties! Music, laughter, and His children in merry fellowship bless Him as much as our quiet contemplation and worship. Revelation reveals both times of silence (Revelation 8:1 – 3) and celebration in Heaven (Revelation 19:6 – 8). We even get a sparkling new party dress for this occasion!

I love celebrating Jesus’ resurrection and my new life in Christ every Sunday. My birthday falls on Sunday this year. I intend to party hardy! For sixty-two years, God has given me breath, strength, and every good thing I have. A party is in order; I’ll bring the cupcakes!

It’s a BYOB (bring your own beverage). I’m bringing tea! What’s your non-intoxicating beverage of choice?

How Improving Our Cultural Intelligence Quotient Makes Us Better Disciple-Makers

Community, Diversity, Faith, Family Life, humility, Maturity, outreach, the Bible God's Word / By teri / April 4, 2023 March 17, 2023 / CQ, cross-cultural interactions, discipleship, Diversity, Family of God

Sisters in God’s Family

Culture matters. We interpret life through a cultural lens. As a result, we can misinterpret essential things. For years my husband told me I was rude because when I’d call him or he’d call me and I failed to live up to his cultural expectation of a personal greeting. Having grown up in a farming community, he’s a warm culture guy. Relationship is king!

But I’m a cold culture woman, raised by a Mainiac (my mom was born and raised in Maine) who gets straight to business. Not wasting people’s time is a sign of respect. So while I tried to respect my husband, he felt disrespected. He’d call. I’d answer, “What do you need?” (quick, short, to the point) Instead of, “How are you? (pause) How may I help you?” Neither of these approaches is right or wrong; they’re just different. Reading the book From Foreign to Familiar helped me not feel beaten up by my husband’s accusations of rudeness. So I love him by inquiring about his well-being, and he honors me by quickly addressing my need.

We honor God’s diverse creation when we learn and honor different cultures. We respect God’s word when we gain an understanding of the ancient cultures that provide the context in Scripture. For example, I never understood why Herodias’s daughter would ask for John the Baptist’s head (Mark 6:21 – 29).

Yuck! As a twelve-year-old girl, if a powerful king made me that offer, I would not ask for such a gruesome thing; and I probably wouldn’t have consulted with my mom. Why? Because I grew up in the individualistic, justice/ punishment culture of the United States. Herodias’s daughter grew up in the ancient culture of Roman-occupied Israel. In that culture, as in many worldwide today, family is valued more than individuality, and shame and honor determine your destiny. It would have been shameful for this young girl not to consult her family. And because John the Baptist shamed her family, asking for his head honored them all. I did not figure this out until a friend from India explained the differences between our American culture and his Asian culture. Then the lights went on, and I finally understood this story.

Learn to Discern

Discerning the difference between what’s cultural and Biblical challenges cross-cultural Bible teachers more than you may think. For instance, the story of the beheading of John the Baptist, is it about a gruesome unjust execution by a people-pleasing king, or is it about a bold prophet who didn’t shirk his responsibility to shame a wicked king? If you answer both, you are correct. Can you see how different cultural lenses will see other principles from the same story? Or how about Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4, is that primarily about crossing lines of ethnic prejudice, or is it about the restoration of the value of women in society, or could it be about the forgiveness of an adulteress? Again your answer will depend on your cultural values; the answer is all of the above.

I’m currently reading Serving with Eyes Wide Open by David Livermore. He shares the western perspective of the story of Joeseph in the last thirteen chapters of Genesis, focusing on Joseph’s faithfulness to God and staying pure when faced with temptations. Then David explains in an eastern honor/ shame culture that they would focus on how Joseph forgave brothers that caused him great harm him. Can you see how both are valid applications? Be careful to call something a Biblical principle that may simply be a principle that speaks to your cultural understanding. Is sin always shameful? Yes. Does God forgive sinners? Yes. These are two Biblical principles unaltered by cultural bias.

Practicing Patience Increases Your CQ

I’m leading a book club of four twenty-something girls. I call us the crazy quilt ladies because we all have different cultural upbringings. One woman is from east Africa, and another comes from west Africa. Two out of five of us operate on African time. The other three of us needed to exercise patience when our African sisters showed up an hour or later to the first meeting. Our two warm culture friends ignore a ticking timepiece if it feels rude to them to leave one gathering to go to the next. The rest of us loved them by reviewing our discussion when they finally showed up. When they did arrive, they were all about being with us; I love that about warm-culture people on African time.

Remember my warm-cultured husband? African time kills his Greman soul. Punctuality is essential to some people groups. Is it to you? More importantly, are you willing to lay down your time consciousness to love someone else who is less trapped in time?

Whether studying the Bible, globe-trotting or making friends in our neighborhoods who come from other places, let’s know there are different ways to live, not right and wrong, just diverse ways. Let’s grow our cultural quotient (CQ) and adapt to the Kingdom Jesus is building from every tribe, tongue, and nation.

The Joys of keeping Covenant

celebrations, Faith, Family Life, forbearance, forgiveness, Knowing God, Marriage, Spiritual warfare / By teri / January 10, 2023 January 3, 2023

I Do Means I Only Do You, and You Only Do Me

`till Death Do Us Part.

Two days ago, my husband and I marked the forty-year milestone in our marriage—a ruby anniversary. That’s right; the 40th anniversary is the ruby anniversary. I wonder if that makes me a real-life Proverbs 31 woman. After forty years of marriage, am I worth more than rubies? Our anniversary celebration brought back bitter-sweet memories of planning a surprise party for my parents’ 40^th in 2000, twenty-three years ago.

My parents, David and Janet Donaldson, May 2000.

I’m so thankful God put it on my heart to do this for them. I called all their friends and relatives from across the country and invited everyone. I asked those who couldn’t come to please send a card. My folks had no idea what I’d been up to. The looks on their faces were priceless. My parents never celebrated a 50th. My dad passed away six years later at the age of 67. So young!

My husband turned 67 a few months ago. We realize life comes with no guarantees, so we threw a big ruby bash with a 1940s ruby slipper vibe. We’ve spent the last decade living in Kansas, and no doubt my “red shoes encouraged, but not required” personal comment to family members and a few friends met Dorothy’s approval.

My middle daughter gifted me with a stunning, custom-designed red satin dress. I had been looking online for a new affordable dress, and she said, “No, Mom. It’s like a second wedding dress. I want it to be special.”

More remarkable than her expensive present was the clean feeling of fidelity my husband and I share. I did not wear white to our wedding forty years ago because the chastity it symbolizes was not mine to give. I didn’t come to Jesus as a virgin and would not misrepresent myself in a covenant ceremony. By God’s grace, I am a chaste bride.

Celebrating our 25th anniversary, I wore a white and silver top. All of our children were single in 2008.

While wearing this “second wedding dress” brings me joy, honesty brings me even greater pleasure. My husband and I speak honestly and openly about our sexual relationship. It was not always that way. We both carried baggage into our marital bed; most people do. Even virgins can struggle to find or give marital pleasure to one another. If only we were honest! We could learn to cry and pray with our spouses as we work out these difficulties. Bill and I learned to do that, and you can too!

Celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary in forties fashion!

Then there’s the joy of holiness. Chaste couples enjoy the pleasure of worship in their marriage bed. God intended sexual intimacy between a husband and wife to culminate in fireworks and out-of-body ecstasy. It may not happen every time, but when it does, my hubby and I are not the only ones saying, “That was good!” The Lord declares, “It is good,” too.

Intimacy creates a safe place to find joy. To share yourself, and expose yourself unashamed with the only person you trust implicitly for a lifetime, satisfies a soul more than the world’s cheap imitation.

Our bodies change over time; we will never be as firm and attractive as we were in our 20s and 30s. Fidelity develops a more profound attraction over time. The covenant commitment makes wrinkles appear softer, flab appear firmer, and even sag seems sumptuous. Fidelity in lifelong matrimony is magic, sheer miraculous joy!

Bill and Teri with their youngest two grandbabies.

Let’s keep our vows. Let’s live in the joy of fidelity God intends for us. It’s not easy, and sometimes we need help. Bill and I sought counseling when we sometimes struggled to be mutually satisfied in our marriage bed.

If you are struggling in your marriage, seek godly Biblical counseling. Let someone help you and your husband learn to enjoy what God intended for your pleasure. And if you or your spouse have violated your covenant through adultery, don’t despair. I repeat. Do. Not. Despair! Our God provides forgiveness and restoration. He pursues His unfaithful bride. The Lord even called the prophet Hosea to marry the prostitute, Gomer, to illustrate His unfailing love and forgiveness. By God’s grace, He restores even the most hopeless relationships and helps us forgive sins that seem unforgivable.

It is a new year. Let’s celebrate with a renewed commitment to fidelity.

If you’re struggling and want me to pray confidentially for you, please email me at [email protected].

Lord, let the wonder of Your unfailing love shine into a world that desperately needs to understand the joys of staying married. Let our marriages reflect the beauty of our covenant-keeping Savior.

Hunting for the Best Gifts: 21 gift ideas for the person Who has everything

celebrations, Community, Family Life, Motherhood / By teri / November 29, 2022 April 30, 2022 / Christmas shopping, gift giving, gift ideas, the perfect gift, What to give the person who has everything

Will she like that?

I watched my grandma snatch the blouse from my mom’s hands and head straight to the cash register (Grandma was in her nineties and my mom in her seventies when I witnessed this incident). She had seen my mom admire it and try it on. It looked lovely, and Grandma knew Mom would buy it. So, she beat her to it, securing a perfect gift.

We moms never outgrow wanting to lavish our children with gifts. As we enter the thick of the gift-giving season, many of us struggle with the dilemma of procuring the perfect gifts for those we love. Shopping for parents baffles us, especially if they’re downsizing. Those who have adult children with good-paying jobs find themselves in the same dilemma; what we can give that they haven’t already purchased for themselves. What do we get those that already have all they want or need?

Everyone (but God) Needs Something

Most of us feel like we’re drowning in stuff, but our spirits are thirsty. Our parched souls crave quality time with those we love. Maybe a cleared space on our calendar would be a perfect gift? The world mocks and slanders us. Maybe some encouraging words are what we need to give.

God gives us richly all things to enjoy (1 Timothy 6:17), but much of what He provides is not material. He gives strength, hope, and a listening ear. We, too, can furnish these perfect gifts. To help my children, I’m submitting my wish list.

Twenty-one Things My Children Could Give me this Christmas

I want to open my door and find you there.

2. Open a letter and hear your voice inscribed on a piece of paper I won’t throw away.

3. I need your acts of kindness like cooking and cleaning when my house is full of people.

4. Oh, and how I need your forgiveness when I let anxiety get the better of me and the stress monster bites you with mean words.

5. I want to listen to your jokes and laugh with you (even if we’re both laughing at me).

6. I would enjoy you brushing my hair as we watch all the activities around us.

7. I would appreciate less stuff when you leave. Ask for things you could use or want to display or wear. I’d prefer you take these things when they serve you well rather than burden you after I’m gone.

8. I would love to take a walk with you, just the two of us taking a leisurely stroll.

9. I enjoy adventures, going places we’ve never seen before.

10. Experiences make delightful gifts! Concerts, museums, shows, even a project we can do together.11.

11. I want my stocking stuffed with I love you notes instead of trinkets that waste away.

12. I need honest words that confront my sin and invite me to be better.

13. Texts throughout the year, please tell me what’s new with you.

14. Pictures of you and your children always make me smile (digital is fine).

15. Consumable presents like things you bake or a meal you make would be divine.

16. Love and discipline your children well for me, gifting me with grandkids that know right from wrong.

17. I delight to see your growth in the grace and knowledge of Jesus. Share your testimonies of God’s faithfulness with me. Share what you discover as you read the Bible.

18. Gift me with a song. Sing with me, grace me with a performance (one year my oldest taught her children my favorite Christmas carol, a gift I’ll never forget!) or send me a music video you think I’d like.

19. Reminisce with me. Share your favorite memories of childhood. You could even write it out (again, a paper I won’t throw away).

20. Teach me something new like a recipe or helpful technology tip.

21. Pray for me, asks about my needs, and trust the perfect Gift Giver to provide what you cannot.

Giving the Perfect Gifts

In light of what I desire, I realize my friends and family may need these too. Maybe I need to buy less and sacrifice more. The best gifts require time and effort both tend to be more costly than the money we budget for material things. The best gifts nourish us. The best gifts make us better. The best gifts never lose their value or wear out. May God show us how to give lasting treasure the kind moth and rust does not corrupt, and thieves can never steal.

A Thanksgiving Story

celebrations, Community, Faith, Family Life, grandparenting, Maturity / By teri / November 15, 2022 September 24, 2022 / celebrations, gifts, graciousness, gratitude, Grow Grand, thankfulness, thanksgiving

An Excerpt from *Choose Now to Grow Grand, Not Old* by Teri Gasser. Book on SALE now on Amazon for 33% OFF until November 26th!

Both of my grandmothers exercised wisdom when it came time to downsize and make a final move to be near family. However, only one seemed to take full advantage of the new possibilities. One event during a family gathering illustrates it best. It happened after our second Thanksgiving meal together.

I had spent much time and prayer preparing an activity for after the family feast. I wanted to facilitate a fun time of interaction between my mom, grandmas, and four children. Making gingerbread houses struck me as the perfect project, a sweet way to work together and prepare decorations for Christmas. I baked enough walls and roofs for four houses, one for my folks, one for each of my grandmothers to take home, and one for our house. Each of my kids paired up with a grandma, except Jenni. She got stuck with her mom, yours truly. It seemed to be going just as planned. I have pictures of everyone smiling. We licked frosted fingers and nibbled on candy, laughing and having a wonderful time. Then, when Anna and Grandma Erma finished basic construction and started decorating the outside of their house, Erma left the table. She went to the living room and sat in an easy chair.

(My grandma Erma with my daughter Anna)

Maybe she felt tired or bored. Maybe. Or maybe she didn’t like working with a twelve-year-old. Maybe my daughter and Erma had different ideas about decorating. We will never know because she never excused herself or explained why she left the table. Later, when the projects were complete, we took pictures. Erma refused to come and have her photo taken with Anna. My mom felt so sorry for Anna. To top it off, when it came time to send the gingerbread house home with Erma, she flat-out refused the gift—the gift I had prayed about and spent so much time and money preparing, the gift she worked on with her great-granddaughter. My grandma rejected a present intended to bring Christmas cheer to her home.

“Oh, no, you take it home,” she told me as I offered to take it to her car as she was leaving.

“But Grandma, we already have one,” I explained again.

“Well, Anna can put it in her room. I’d rather not have it, thank you.”

Ouch. I cannot judge Erma’s motives. I’ve already shared a few speculations. I can tell you her actions and words put a damper on the day. We never made gingerbread houses together again. Oh, my kids and I did, and sometimes my mom and Grandma Irène joined us, but not Erma. It never became a Thanksgiving tradition.

On the other hand, Grandma Irène paired up with my youngest, seven-year-old Jon. She kept that gingerbread house displayed in her apartment year-round for several years and bragged about it to everyone. That’s gratitude at its best!

God bless you as you celebrate Thanksgiving in a grand way!

Grow Grand, Get Rich!

contentment, Faith, Family Life, friendship, Knowing God, Maturity / By teri / October 4, 2022 September 24, 2022 / eternal investments, friendship, get rich, investments, lasting investments, real wealth, wealth

Choose True Wealth

An excerpt from Teri’s new book Choose Now to Grow Grand, Not Old on SALE now for 50% off until October 31st!

The love we give to others, the influence for good we have in another’s life, and the deep, meaningful friendships we make by investing and taking an interest in people; this is the wealth I want to accumulate. It means I must be aware of the people around me and learn to anticipate their needs. It means I need to make an effort to remember names. It amazes me how a stranger serving me responds with delight when I read their name tag and address them by name. We all long for appreciation as an individual who matters. When we choose to learn someone’s name, it speaks volumes to them. I discovered this when Bill and I came to Grace Baptist Church.

Before moving to Kansas, I got a copy of the church’s picture directory and began studying it. I looked at the faces of people I’d never met and prayed for each one by name. The Lord blessed that effort. Over and over again, different members of Grace shared their surprise at how quickly Bill and I remembered their names. They were impressed with how many other people we remembered and knew. All I can say is that I made a small effort, but God multiplied the results. He gets the glory!

God reveals His heart for people by knowing the number of hairs on our heads and knitting each one of us in our mother’s womb. By declaring us His image-bearers, He valued people above all other created beings. The Lord deems us worthy of a priceless redemption bought by the blood of Christ. He paid top dollar for broken merchandise. Now, if that doesn’t make us feel loved, nothing will. And if that doesn’t motivate us to see the value of others, nothing else can. Since God finds people that worthwhile, shouldn’t we? Simple practices like remembering birthdays, favorite colors, and food preferences honor people. Understanding their goals, sorrows, and fears reveals how much we value them. Relationships—thriving, loving relationships—make us truly wealthy.

Let’s grow grand in our relationships by accumulating friends and investing in people. Let’s not be misers when it comes to being generous with people. Let’s get really rich!